A weekend of discovery

Well, this past weekend was supposed to be about BBE’s work Christmas Party.  While we were in the cozy Amsterdam Brewhouse enjoying our flight of Tempest Stouts and some delicious food, he asks me “How would you feel if we didn’t go to the Party tonight and just hung out”.  OH HELL YES PLEASE!  It’s not that I don’t want to know his coworkers, a few of them (just from the stories) I’m actually rather interested in meeting, but I don’t really like sharing my time with him, and given the opportunity, YES I’m going to jump at the chance to have him all to myself!  That’s when we also realized the tickets were still safely hanging from the fridge. 

Yay, I get a whole weekend and I don’t have to share him.  The gifts were with their father and we had NOTHING else planned until 6:00 pm Sunday evening.  It’s time to chat!  We have talks about how things are, how things are going.  If there’s anything bothering either of us, if anything is missing.  We haven’t had one of these talks in AGES so it felt awesome to be able to resume it.  One of the things we talked about is that BBE considers himself to be an Introvert.  That really surprised me because I find him incredibly outgoing and charismatic (traits not often associated with an introvert).  He sent me this image via facebook and I had a read over.

Many of the points I consider common courtesy and wouldn’t do to ANYONE, being introverted or extroverted!

1.    Respect their need for privacy

2.    Never embarrass them in public

3.    Let them observe first in new situations

4.    Give them time to think, don’t demand instant answers

5.    Don’t interrupt them

6.    Give them advance notice of expected changes in their lives

7.    Give them 15 minutes warning to finish whatever they’re doing

8.    Reprimand them privately

9.    Teach them new skills privately

10.  Enable them to find ONE best friend who has similar interests & abilities

11.  Don’t push them to make lots of friends

12.  Respect their Introversions and don’t try to remake them into an Extrovert.

Ok, so here’s what I think. 

#1 & #2 that should be everyone.  You should always respect people’s privacy and NEVER embarrass anyone in public.  However, I’m a loud extrovert, if I embarrass him, it will be unintentional, but I’ll try to watch it.

#3 Ok, this is food for thought.  I tend to jump into most situations (often without a clue) and will stumble around until I figure it out.  Perhaps I should try to observe first too, it sounds like a WAY smarter way of doing things.

#4 this one is hard for me.  When I want to know something I can be pretty darned impatient.  However, I have learned that when I ask something (regarding feelings or sensitive topic) I’m best served to give him time to think about his answer.  We have MUCH better communication that way and fewer misunderstandings.

#5 this one should go for anyone.  It’s a sign of respect to listen and NOT interrupt.  As well, when you interrupt you’re not ACTIVELY listening to what someone is saying, you’re just trying to be heard.

#6 yes, this one is hard.  With two full time employed people with commutes and two active boys, sometimes things have to be done on the fly.  We try to organize and anticipate as much as possible, but this one will likely be an ongoing challenge.

#7 he HATES it when I act like I expect him to drop what he’s doing when I say something.  Of course he does, that’s RUDE.  Wow, extroverts are a royal PITA huh?

#8 I would NEVER reprimand him, publically or privately, but I address anything private … PRIVATELY.

#9 hey, you don’t need to know what goes on behind closed doors!  :-P

#10 fortunately for this extrovert, that introvert is also my best friend <3 o:p="">

#11 I don’t push him to do anything. 

#12 we’ve already got 3 extroverts in the house, I’m so grateful we’ve got this amazing introvert to keep us all sane.

I have some on line friends that are Introverts, but I’ve usually been surrounded by other type A extroverts all my life, so I find these types of learning’s very valuable!