Monday, May 27, 2013

This just boggles my mind.

In case you haven’t heard, Toronto has had some trouble … apparently we should call it “antics” with its Mayor. Rob Ford has been an outspoken (loud mouth) bigger than life (how’d that weight loss challenge go there Mr. Mayor?) rule breaking (oh texting and driving, DUI in Florida, accusations of improper fund raising, libeling a business, getting wasted at charity fund raisers, accused of smoking CRACK COCAINE) joy of a political figure for Toronto. He’s got an agenda, apparently to stop the gorging at the public trough, gravy train style politics in Toronto, but apparently he also has lies, broken promises, deception and drug use on that agenda.


While it doesn’t amaze me that people with big egos falter, and even lie and cover up their transgressions, it’s the blatant blindness of the people of Toronto to either forgive him or simply not care that an absolute TRAIN WRECK of a person is running the largest city in CANADA!

News Story - Ford popularity not affected ...

Holy crap people … SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!?!

He was just FIRED from his VOLUNTEER coaching job from a local high school, because they were sick of being tainted with his stupidity, but there seems to be a good lot of people in Toronto that still think he’s doing an A-OK job!

Let me be VERY clear. I do not live in Toronto, and if I did, I wouldn’t have voted for this joker in the first place. Yep, call me elitist, but I think our public servants should be held to AT LEAST the standards of your average worker or soccer mom, not this insanely out of control lunatic.

It’s a shame Intervention was cancelled, Ford would have been a top rated show!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Waltzing into the spotlight on 7” spikes

BBE spoils me. I think that’s become very evident to anyone who reads my blog, looks at my facebook page, is within ear shot of me EVER … yes, I’m very spoiled. This past Mothers Day, after being treated to an amazing brunch for his mother and I, then informed that his mother and I would book our day at the Scandinavian Spa so that we couldn’t put it off (another treat he was paying for), he felt bad because he didn’t take the gifts out to buy me a gift. Huh? Seriously? I am ALWAYS treated like a Queen, he worked like crazy to make sure it was the perfect weekend, then felt bad … I couldn’t believe it. I told him that he makes me happy EVERY DAY! That the gifts had made cards and presents at school (which I loved) and that they were making me feel truly appreciated and loved, which IS the greatest gift of all.

I have mom friends who get nothing more than what the kids make in school. They live with the father of their children (their husbands) and are always completely over looked. I have friends that aren’t cherished, appreciated and loved the way I am on Mother’s Day, or any other day, but I am spoiled CONSTANTLY in that way. I tried explaining this to BBE, but there’s no stopping him when he’s got an idea brewing.

He tells me to go on to my FAVOURITE shoe website www.gojane.com and fill in my wish list. This is the site which I have 7 KILLER pair of heels from that he’s purchased for me and together we find some spectacular stilettos that I can wear to work. The shoes I’ve already got aren’t really “corporate” friendly being heel-less heels, but they’re fun for parties, and clubbing. This time, Momma is going to get a pretty new pair of shoes for work. Oh wait, one pair is not really spoiling, so he purchases THREE. A pink peep toe pair of 7” (pictured above), a black patent closed toe 6” and a black velvet close toe 6”. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, they arrived yesterday!

Today at the office, I decided I want to show them off, but not be obvious about it. I walk into the kitchen past ACW’s office and she YELLS “OMG THOSE ARE GREAT SHOES”! My boss, and another male VP were in the hallway and of course had to check them out. Remember, I’m almost 5’11”, so 7” heels are insanely dramatic. My boss is now shorter than me, and the other VP says “I’m not used to men being my height, and never a woman”. *grins*

I love the smell of new shoes in the morning!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Coping with stress and axiety


So, Shawn suggested that I research some ways to help cope with stress and anxiety.  I’m properly medicated, but there’ve been moments (up to hours) a few times in the past few weeks that have sent my heart racing, my hands fidgeting and my general anxiety into overdrive.   So, here I am trying to research some ways to cope.
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Learn to relax.
You may even need "breathing retraining," Ross adds. "When people get anxious, they tend to hold their breath. We teach people a special diaphragmatic breathing -- it calms your system. Do yoga, meditation, or get some exercise. Exercise is a terrific outlet for anxiety."
I’ve been getting better at getting to sleep lately, since I’ve been using my meditation app.  While it may not be ideal at work, I do need to work on breathing training and do it.
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Get moving
Regular exercise is a powerful stress reliever—even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing. Aerobic exercise—activity that raises your heart rate and makes you sweat—is a hugely effective way to lift your mood, increase energy, sharpen focus, and relax both the mind and body. For maximum stress relief, try to get at least 30 minutes of heart-pounding activity on most days. If it’s easier to fit into your schedule, break up the activity into two or three shorter segments.
Make food choices that keep you going
Low blood sugar can make you feel anxious and irritable, while eating too much can make you lethargic.Healthy eating can help you get through stressful work days. By eating small but frequent meals, you can help your body maintain an even level of blood sugar, keep your energy up, stay focused, and avoid mood swings.
Drink alcohol in moderation and avoid nicotine
Alcohol temporarily reduces anxiety and worry, but too much can cause anxiety as it wears off. Drinking to relieve job stress may also eventually lead to alcohol abuse and dependence. Similarly, smoking when you're feeling stressed and overwhelmed may seem calming, but nicotine is a powerful stimulant – leading to higher, not lower, levels of anxiety.
Get enough sleep
Not only can stress and worry can cause insomnia, but a lack of sleep can leave you vulnerable to even more stress. When you're well-rested, it's much easier to keep your emotional balance, a key factor in coping with job and workplace stress. Try to improve the quality of your sleep by keeping a sleep schedule and aiming for 8 hours a night.
HA … I know that the alcohol reduces anxiety … ahhhhh chillaxin’ with a bottle of wine, but not the best way to cope.  It’s an eye opener about the food and exercise.  I haven’t been eating my healthy lunches of late … I haven’t been eating poorly, but I’ve had less leafy greens and water and due to my knees haven’t been able to work out.  I must address these.
So … EVERY DAY a spinach salad and EVERY TIME I get anxious at home I’ll go do floor exercises, and at work, I’ll throw on sweats and go for a walk.  Hell, if I’m in my jeans I’ll throw on my work boots and walk around the warehouse.
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1. Repeat your worry until you’re bored silly. If you had a fear of elevators, you’d get rid of it if you rode in one a thousand times in a row. At first, you would be very anxious, then less so, and eventually it would have no effect (except to make you sick of riding in an elevator). So take the troublesome thought that’s nagging at you and say it over and over, silently, slowly, for 20 minutes. It’s hard to keep your mind on a worry if you repeat it that many times. I call this the “boredom cure” for obvious reasons, but it sure beats feeling overwhelmed by anxiety. 

2. Make it worse. When you try too hard to control your anxieties, you only heighten them. Instead, exaggerate them and see what happens. For instance, if you fear that your mind will go blank during a presentation, fake it intentionally in the middle of your next one. Say, “Gee, what was I just saying?” Notice how this makes no difference. It’s nothing to worry about, right? I did this at a lecture once and no one raised an eyebrow. (Perhaps they weren’t listening anyway!) 

3. Don’t fight the craziness. You may occasionally have thoughts that lead you to think you’ll do something terrible (“I’m attracted to him. Does that mean I’ll have an affair?”) or that you’re going insane (a client of mine who is an attorney kept imagining herself screaming in court). Remember―our minds are creative. Little synapses are firing away at random, and every now and then a “crazy” thought jumps out. Everyone has them. Instead of judging yours, describe it to yourself like it’s a curious object on a shelf and move on. 

4. Recognize false alarms. That fear of your house burning down because you left the iron on has never come true. That rapid heartbeat doesn’t mean you’re having a heart attack; it’s your body’s natural response to arousal. Many thoughts and sensations that we interpret as cues for concern―even panic―are just background noise. Think of each of them as a fire engine going to another place. You’ve noticed them; now let them pass by. 

5. Turn your anxiety into a movie. You can let go of a worry by disconnecting yourself from it. One way is to imagine that your anxious thoughts are a show. Maybe they’re a little guy in a funny hat who tap dances and sings out your worry while you sit in the audience, eating popcorn, a calm observer.
6. Set aside worry time. All too often we take a “Crackberry” approach to our worries: They show up unannounced, like constantly dinging e-mails, and we stop everything to address them―even if we should be doing something else. But what if you don’t respond right away? Try setting aside 20 minutes every day―let’s say at 4:30 p.m.―just for your worries. If you are fretting at 10 a.m., jot down the reason and resolve to think it through later. By the time 4:30 comes around, many of your troubles won’t even matter anymore. And you will have spent almost an entire day anxiety-free. 

7. Take your hand off the horn. You constantly check the weather before a big outdoor event. You replay that clumsy comment you made, wishing you could take it back. And, yes, you honk your horn in traffic. When you desperately try to take command of things that can’t be controlled, you’re like the swimmer who panics and slaps at the water, screaming. It gets you nowhere. Instead, imagine that you are floating along on the water with your arms spread out, looking up to the sky. It’s a paradox, but when you surrender to the moment, you actually feel far more in control. 

8. Breathe it out. You may notice that when your body is tense, you hold your breath. Focusing on breathing is a common but effective technique for calming the nerves. Where is your breath now, and where is your mind? Bring them together. Listen to the movement of your breath. Does your mind wander somewhere else? Call it back. Concentrate only on breathing in and out, beginning and ending, breath to breath, moment to moment. 

9. Make peace with time. When you’re a worrier, everything can feel like an emergency. But notice this about all your anxious arousal: It’s temporary. Every feeling of panic comes to an end, every concern eventually wears itself out, every so-called emergency seems to evaporate. Ask yourself, “How will I feel about this in a week or a month?” This one, too, really will pass. 

10. Don’t let your worries stop you from living your life. Many of them will turn out to be false, and the consequences of your anxiety―less sleep, a rapid pulse, a little embarrassment―are just inconveniences when it comes down to it. What can you still do even if you feel anxious? Almost anything.


WOW … JACKPOT.  I know yoga and meditation.  I have some breathing techniques, but I could learn some new ones … but here’s a list of things I haven’t heard before.  I’ll let you know if any of these work for me.
Again, thanks Shawn, you’re making me an all-around better person!

Inside the magic box

This week, being “single girl” week as BBE is working nights and the gifts are at their fathers, I had the chance to have an old friend over for a coffee after work.  I haven’t seen (or even really spoken to) this friend in about 2 years.  It was simply a matter of our lives were on different paths and they weren’t intersecting.  There was no reason for not talking; there was just nothing to connect us.   Out of the blue, she posts on my wall that she’d love to get together for a coffee, so we did.  Both of us have had a LOT of changes over the past two years.  Each being on a different journey, but getting together again, the years melted away and it was like we were hanging out just last week. 

I’m like that with people, some people, and most people actually.  I understand that sometimes people are in your life for an event, or a period of time, and as long as there are no hard feelings, no transgression that’s passed that you can’t get over, that reconnection is a good thing.

I find, these days, that many of my closest friends are trapped in the little silver box (the laptop or the iPad).  I connect with people as far away as Australia, she being a RL friend who flew off for a new adventure and another dear friend who lives in England.  These are some of my best friends and whether we email every day, or once a month, I still feel as close and connected to them as anyone.  As well, I have two amazing and different groups of women I know on line only.  I’ve never met ANY of these women (all told about 40 of them) in real life, but some of them I consider my best friends.  I follow their blogs, and their posts in our private groups and we celebrate our successes and happiness together and hold one another together through the tough times.  Although I’ve never met any of these ladies, I feel closer to them than those who I’ve called “friends” for the past 10 years.  I find that due to life (changes in jobs, marital changes, etc) that friends just naturally ebb and flow from your life.  I’ve gotten to know and forgotten many people on line, but these “special friends” (the wm’s and the lnl’s) hold a special place in my heart and I’ll never let them go.

Then I look at my “real life” friends and I’m really disappointed (with the exception of one mother of a classmate to the oldest gift).  I’ve invited them to events, offered to do things for them, tried to engage them and I barely get a response, and if I do it’s ALWAYS negative.  I get that everyone has a life, but I’m finding a lot of them using “busy family” as an excuse to be rude and not even make an effort to help out.  I hate it when people disappoint me, but I’m truly fortunate to have some spectacular friends, it’s just that many of them live inside the magic box.

Early in the pandemic, I read, “We’re all in the same storm, but riding it out on different boats”, and I’ve carried that along with me.  I’...