Things I learned about myself and my kids when I took them to work for 2 days.

Ok, so I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but I’m in Marketing.  I work for a global organization in the Canadian office bringing new technologies to the market.  We have a large meeting room that has all of our products in it on display.  We call it our Gallery.  It’s got one of the largest boardroom tables in the world in the middle of it and product all the way around.  We’ve grown over the past decade by innovation and acquisition.  As a result, we often have to “update the Gallery” and it’s often a daunting task.

This year, I decided to put my slaves … errr I mean sons to work.  They’re 13 and 10 and since they’re too young (legally) to work in Canada, the company agreed to pay them in gift cards.  For two full days work, they’d get a $100 gift card (each) to a local retailer.  They were STOKED.  Of course, Monday morning when I had to wake the 13-year-old up for the first time before 11 am all summer (woke him up at 6:40) they were less than enthusiastic.  But here are my learnings.

·        Fear of disappointing or embarrassing Mother is a wonderful motivator to maintain excellent behaviour.

·        My 13-year-old doesn’t say a lot but my 10-year-old NEVER STOPS TALKING.

·        Physical work for two boys who have done very little all summer causes them to sleep in the car all the way home and put themselves to bed early.

·        I finally found a restaurant near my work they both LOVE.  I will be stopping there often to get takeout on the way home.

·        I am physically exhausted from managing them and work for two days.

·        I don’t get to talk to LML nearly as much throughout the day when they’re with me.

·        They’re apparently freaked out by heavy rain

·        They both made me very proud with a very hard work ethic and earned every cent they made.

The youngest said he’d miss my office and he can’t wait until he’s old enough to come work here too … I’m just hoping I’ll have retired by then or I may need to put a cot in my office for naps!

Not ready yet to say goodbye

Cancer sucks.

I don’t know a single person whose life hasn’t been touched by cancer.  I lost my beloved grandmother at the age of 11 to stomach cancer.   Two years ago one of my best friends was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  Unfortunately for her (and all of us who love her) the treatments didn’t work and she’s been end stage for about a year.  It’s a long time to die.

A year ago, one of my closes “mom friends” was diagnosed with bile-duct cancer.  She’s a beautiful, brilliant, happy woman.  My age, her boys close in age to my boys.  A super nerd (just like me) and a loving wife.  We had a lot in common and I considered her among my closest friends.  When she was diagnosed I sent positive vibes out into the universe for her to kick cancers ass!  I followed her journey on a cancer website, as she updated the successes and failures of her journey. 

Then, about 2 weeks ago, her husband updates her blog that the latest treatment didn’t work and she was coming to the end of her journey.  I was stunned, saddened, horrified, angry, grief-stricken.  But she’s so young!  But how will her boys and her husband go on without that incredibly bright light in their family?  We didn’t know if she had days or weeks, but he told us it wouldn’t be long after that.  Three days after finding out, she passed away peacefully in her husband’s arms.  I could almost feel a star go out, the world just became a bit dimmer without her brilliance in it.

The village that I knew her from, was a group of working mothers from all over Canada and the USA.  It had shrunk over time, but there’s still a closeness and a bond with this group.  We looked to each other for support to get through this.  I had suggested that we do a memory book of our best memories of her and send it to her husband and children.  Let them know how much she meant to so many people, how far her reach went.  I offered to collect the information and put it all together.  It’s been amazingly bittersweet.  In the beginning, every new story, every new picture, every old video sent me into another wave of tears and grief, but as I process through it, it’s making me smile.  Reminding me of how incredibly lucky I was to know and love this woman (and by extension her family as well).  Her husband was kind enough to come to our private group and offer his FaceBook profile to friend requests so we could continue watching her boys grow.  He’s a wonderful man and I can see why she loved him so much.

Remember, life is short and precious.  Enjoy every moment because it’s later than you think.   Tell the people you love how much they mean to you.  Remember the joys, forget the insults.  It’s not a dress rehearsal, this is the big show and go knock it out of the park!

Eat, Pray, Love

I’m finally getting around to this book.  I have a rather long commute (2 hours + per day) so I’ve taken to audiobooks in the car to pass the time.  I find it works better than just the news and music.  I recently finished a fabulously trashy fantasy erotica series (well at least the first 12 books) about Warrior Immortals that are paired with Demons and the human and immortal women they fall in love with.  I thoroughly enjoyed the series and my only concern is rolling up to a red light with the windows down and startling the person next to me if they’re in the middle of yet another graphic sex scene. *snert*

However, I’m now on to something a bit different.  LML downloaded Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  I know that there was a movie about it with Julia Roberts and it took place in India, that was all I knew about this book as it started.  I really liked that it was actually read by the Author, it feels very genuine.  That being said there’s quite a bit I like about this book and there are some things that I really don’t like about this book.

What I don’t like about it.

The Author seems to have a rather negative view of prescription medication for mental illness.  I appreciate that she wants to use it ONLY as a last resort and that her goal is to “get off it” as soon as possible, but as someone who’s been well medicated for over 2 decades and knows that “getting of it” is not a possibility ever I find that narrow mindset insulting.  What if she was diabetic?  Would she view it as a failure if she required insulin?  Would she constantly be beating herself up for not getting over diabetes and getting off the insulin?  Is she frustrated with her body because she needs birth control to prevent getting pregnant?  Some people simply do have a chemical imbalance and the medication balances them out.  She doesn’t think medication should be used without psychiatry, I can’t imagine what my life would look like if I’d been seeing a psychiatrist for the past two decades.  What a colossal waste of time it would have been for me and the doctor.  I’m good, I’m healthy, I just require medication to keep my body functioning and that doesn’t make me less of a person than her.

What I do like about it.

I love hearing about religions that I know little to nothing about.  I grew up in a very Catholic environment and while my family wasn’t religious AT ALL, my friends were and I’d attended Roman Catholic services and Mormon services and none of that ever rang true for me.  I married into an Anglican family (first time around) and while I had a lot of respect for the Pastor, it never connected with me.  However, listing to the Author talk about “connecting with God” and how “God dwells within all of us” it connects me to things I’d heard before “how we are made in His image” that it’s okay to be truly who we are as we are exactly as we are meant to be and that denying that would be an insult to God.  She uses the term God not in deference to the Catholic religion, just that is the word she is most comfortable with.  I cringed in the beginning as it’s not a word I’m comfortable with but she does reference other deities in trying to be inclusive in her descriptions so I appreciate that.

The bottom line is I don’t think I’ve ever blogged about a book before so the fact that it’s giving me such a strong positive and negative reaction is a good thing, means it’s making me think and feel.  That and I want to do Yoga and Meditate more.