Move over Letterman ... I can do a top ten list too!

Ok, so I’ve been feeling pretty down about myself lately.  Two years ago I was hitting the gym for 2-3 hours a day, EVERY DAY and I was in GREAT shape.  I wasn’t skinny, I wouldn’t even say lean, but I was really happy about how I looked.  Then, again, life got in the way.  Custody schedules, travel, work … a thousand excuses but I’m back to my original shape … round.  Realistically, what really bothers me is how out of shape I am.  I’d love to take a bike ride with the boys, or go play soccer at the park, but I’m afraid I’d need an Ambulance on standby for anything more than a flight of stairs.

So, LML tasked me to write a list of 10 things I like about myself.  This is much like the #100HappyDays it’s an exercise to focus on the positive … really, did I just say exercise?  Oy.  He’s also pointed out that it can’t be compliments to him or the boys aka “I love how happy you make me LML” or “I love how awesome the boys are” (although I made them so it’s kinda me ;-) but here goes.

1.    I love my hands.  I love how long and thin my fingers are.  I love the way I take care of them with manicures, colour, moisturizer, etc.  They’re very pretty and I love that I can wear HUGE funky rings and they look awesome on me.

2.     I love my not only willingness but excitement to wear an EXTREME variety of footwear.  Everything from flip flops and ballet flats to 7” spiked stilettos in bubble gum pink!  I am this generation’s Amelda!

3.      I like that I’m always jumping to Yes instead of No when I’m asked for something.  I really like helping friends out and doing things for them.

4.      I’ve got stupid sexy calves (even with the scar down one shin) that look AMAZING in those ridiculously high heels.

5.     I have a great smile and I use it liberally

6.     I’m reliable.  While that sounds kind of boring, it means people can count on me.  If I say I’m going to do something, I do it.  I can commit to events, tasks and being there for friends.

7.     I don’t sweat the small stuff and I don’t over think things.  I had an incident with the eldest gift this past weekend.  I stood my ground, and then compromised.  I wasn’t sure if I’d compromised or caved, but after telling LML what happen he agreed I’d done the right thing in that situation and I wasn’t just being a spineless marshmallow.

8.     I laugh, A LOT!  With enthusiasm and a joyous lust for life.

9.     I like to make people happy.  Whether it’s to compliment a coworker on a great outfit, or give someone a neat promo pen I have, I like to make people smile.

10.  I’m not only the friend that will help you move, I’ll help you move a body.  For my good friends I’ll do everything in my power to help them out.

Wow, that was a lot harder than it looked.    I’m having a bit of a Sally Fields moment … they like me, they really like me ... but more importantly I like me.    Best part is while I was writing this out, I realized most of my closest friends (Shawn, Michael, Michaela, the Working Moms) have many of these same traits too.  Apparently I do attract what I try to put out.

The grey rut with the explosive neon moments

I’ve come to not only learn, but accept that this is what life is.  I was driving to work this morning after dropping the little gifts off at daycare, filling the tank with gas, then joining the rest of the rats on the daily race down to work.  It was a brilliant and sunny morning, but it’s just such a mundane and repetitive task … monotonyyyyyyyyyyyyy.  Then I thought about what a great weekend LML and I just had.  We try to take advantage of every opportunity to be together and enjoy ourselves.  I had to do a short work trip to Minneapolis, so he took a day off, we had a coupon for a free short haul flight and he came with me.  It was fun to adventure the Mall of America with him.  Not to mention I got to meet one of my working mom friends (my evil twin) that I’ve known for 8.5 years.  I have bright, vivid neon memories of hanging at that cool mall with them.

When we landed on Saturday, we took off downtown to meet another old friend of mine.  Richard and LML love to talk craft beer, and they’ve even begun trading them.  What was supposed to be an hour drink at BarVolo, turned into a 4 hour visit there prior to heading out on transit for some EPIC BBQ in Greek Town.  I love it when stars align and LML’s friend Derek who happened to be downtown joined us.  Again a brilliant flash of GREAT TIMES OF LIFE. 

My learning from this weekend is that yes, a lot of life is the mundane boring stuff we have to do (commute, grocery shop, laundry, etc.) but if you take every opportunity possible for those neon firework moments, you’ll smile a lot more often during that traffic jam!

sometimes it just sneaks up on me ...

Sometimes it sneaks up on me ... the enormity of it.  How incredibly sweet and all encompassing it is ... 

I love you, more than I could ever possibly put into words.

I love you, more than I could ever adequately express

I love you, more than I could ever say.

But I hope ... oh how desperately I hope.

You feel, just how much I love you.

You are my Alpha, my Omega.  I am me because if you.

I love you!

Things that can’t be unseen

I woke up this morning to yet more breaking news of scandalous crack smoking video of “Mayor” Rob Ford.  Along with that, yet another audio tape drunken stupor of him at a bar.  This difference this time, from ALL the other times is that he’s finally admitted he has a problem and is going to rehab.  WOW.  Ok, I don’t like the man, I think he’s a giant @$$, but his children love him (I’m guessing) and I do hope he manages to get the monkey off his back.  I personally know how hard it is to kick an addition (cigarettes, not crack) so I do wish him well as a human being.  I hope he sobers up, gets clean and goes on to live a QUIET and productive live (if the gods are listening, please let it be out of the spotlight and away from politics). 

As I’m scrolling through my facebook feed at work, I see there’s a link to the transcripts of his drunken stupor tape from Monday night.  Ohhhh, I heard parts of it on the radio this morning, but it was tough to make out through his slurring, and the bleeped out what he said about a competitor in the Mayoral race, so I clicked on the link.  When you do this on the beloved book of face, it drops down more feeds that are associated, and you might find interesting.  It presented me with this.

WHAT.THE.EVER.LOVING.PHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.  But … but … but … where’s the brain bleach?  Good lord, I don’t judge people for what they do in their private lives, but for the love of all things holy, if you’re going to be a public figure, get control of your image.

I’ll never be quite the same after seeing that again.  For the record, I did click through and the post was removed … but that image will live burned in my brain EVERY time I see Rob Ford now.

LML – hold me!