Apparently the same person who stole October and half of November

Oops, it's been a while ... on to today's topic

The original mommy wars were Working Moms vs Stay at home Moms.  One didn’t love their kids enough letting strangers raise them, the others were pretty much lazy and a drain on society.  There’s been a lot of sensitivity that’s come out from those wars.

• All moms work – it’s a hell of a job
• All moms love their kids – some can’t be with them 24/7
• All moms should work to help build each other up, not tear each other down

I’ve been on the working mom side of that war.  I’ve never looked down at a stay at home mom, but I’ve also never envied them.  I do love the little gifts, but I’m grateful for a job I thoroughly enjoy and the chance to grow their village with a wider group of those who love, care for and help my gifts grow.  I’ve learned to bite my tongue whenever someone says “oh I’d never let a stranger raise my child”.  That’s mostly born of ignorance, not malice.

I thought we’d finally let that war die, but now it’s resurface to the “Clean House” wars.  Interesting that SAHM (Stay at Home Moms) or WM (Working Moms) end up on either side of this war.  A lot of facebook memes are denoted to “I carefully take pictures of my children to hide the disaster my home is”, or blog posts from one of my favourite bloggers, that her house is a disorganized chaotic mess, but that’s just how she rolls.  The common theme is “as long as it’s not unsanitary, messy is A-OK”.  But then there are other mothers who feel their failing if their house is a mess, and those still who, because they keep their home neat and tidy, are accused of not loving their children enough to forego the cleaning to play with / interact with them. 

OMG … seriously?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I just watched one of my facebook groups have a long conversation about this, and some defriending happened because of the argument.  Really people … REALLY?  Is this so important, that you’ll unfriend someone you’ve called a friend?  Is this so important that you’ll place your self-worth and personal value on it?  I really can’t wrap my head around that.  I like it when my house is clean and organized.  It’s usually clean, it’s RARELY organized.  No one is in danger of mold spores, the litter boxes and bathrooms are cleaned regularly.  Do I wash the baseboards … uhhhh nope.  Do I think I’m less of a Mother, Wife, Woman because of this … NOPE.

I just can’t imagine putting that much emotion and effort into such silliness.  I’m blessed to have another private group, that while we may discuss such topics, and there are those of us on either end of the spectrum, no one every WARS about it, or loses friends over it. 

The lesson for today is, surround yourself with people who build you up and eliminate those who wear you down.