Dragging the Introvert across the country.

If you know me and BHE at all, you know I’m a flaming extrovert and he’s an incredible introvert.  They say opposites attract, and in our personality styles, we couldn’t be more different.  Words people use to describe me are “Loud, Enthusiastic, Energetic, Passionate, & Outgoing”.  Words people use to describe BHE are “Smart, Witty, Quick, Quiet, & Thoughtful”.  We truly are the description of Extrovert and Introvert.  It took a while for me to become accustom to some of the needs of the Introvert and everyone once in a while, like this year’s epic east coast adventure I forget completely and epically.

I decided it was a good idea for us to do a road trip to the East Coast of Canada.  I’d only been to Halifax once, and after the beauty of Scotland I wanted to discover the beauty of our eastern shores.  When I mentioned this in planning to BHE’s mother she exclaimed “oh I’ve always wanted to go to P.E.I., it’s on my bucket list”.  Normally I’d blurt out an invitation without hesitation, but I kept my mouth shut until I could discuss it with BHE in private.  Would it be okay if she came too?  Yep.  Cool!   She’s tiny, she can fit in the back seat with the boys.

Fabulous, 5 people in a CR-V, 4,500 kms, 5 Provinces, 7 hotels in 10 days … BRING IT!  I was stoked.  I’d ordered 10’ iPad charging cables and dual-head lighter adapter charges so the boys could remain plugged into the matrix.  Youngest boy was properly medicated with gravol and oldest boy sat in the middle so he could look out the front window, both avoiding car sickness.  We took pictures, ate local fare, and took ferries and bridges, stayed in B&B’s, motels and hotels.  Lots of souvenirs shopping, swimming in hotel pools and laughter ensued.    By the time we returned home, we were exhausted but basking in the good memories.

Then I had a chat with my friend who was looking after our house while we were away.  She, like BHE is an introvert and she said when I told her about the trip she said it sounded like a living hell.  WHAAATTT?  But it was great family bonding time, the boys were really good, the food was epic …. But that’s me.  I thrive on energy, on being around people, on doing things.  DH needs his down time; he needs to recharge his batteries from the energy sucking extroverts like me and the boys.  I immediately felt so bad.  Why didn’t he say something?  Why didn’t he tell me to cut it shorter?  I asked my closest group of on line friends this question and they all agreed, he didn’t because he loves me.  He knew that trip was exactly what I wanted and did whatever was needed to make it happen.  That’s how lucky I am, that he always puts me and my needs first. 

So, this week, I’ll get the gifts sent to their father’s for a couple of days.  I’ll do all the chores, I’ll make sure our home is a calm place where he can recharge and be able to look back on the vacation with the joy and happiness I have.   Next time, I’ll shorten the trip, fewer places, longer stays at each place and ensure there’s some quiet down time for him and I together.

Actually taking vacation

Ok, I did it.  For the first time in recent memory I took a full week’s vacation … and not only that, I went unplugged from work.  Anyone that knows me knows I’m a bit of a workaholic control freak!  My iPhone is NEVER far from my side, save the shower, and then it’s on the bathroom counter.  I keep the volume turned on if I actually let one of the gifts play with it, and they know, without question or hesitation that if it makes the “bing” sound, they must hand it back to me immediately so I can check it.  This is how I live, and I’m used to it.

The Saturday of my first night of vacation we had some friends over.  Friends that we’d met through the oldest gifts class.  He and she had been in class together since JK and they’ve just completed grade 2.  Her mother is a SAHM, and is rather introverted and shy.  Yep, she is the polar opposite of me, but her husband is very outgoing and charismatic, so I think she likes that I’m bit like him.  She asked me what I do about work when I’m on vacation.  Well, I usually check my email, but I’d already warned work that BBE was going to throw my phone in the St Lawrence while we were in Montreal if I worked, so I did the unthinkable.  I disabled my work email from my iPhone.  I thought I’d start shaking and sweating, but the liquid courage (in the form of a lovely Sauvignon Blanc) gave me courage.  I figured I’d wake up with a hangover and a giant regret as I scrambled to reconnect my email to my lifeline, however, neither happened the next morning.  I woke up feeling refreshed and excited about a week free of work.

I did it, and it was FREEING.  I reconnected my email to my iPhone (for the record, it’s my personal iPhone as the company does not provide me with one and it’s completely my choice to stay connected as I do).  They’re used to me checking my emails while not at work, and everyone spoke to me upon my return as if I was 100% up to date and in the loop.  I wasn’t, and I just smiled, managed through my 8:00 am communications meeting the morning I returned throwing out phrases like “I’m still following up on that” or “I haven’t heard back yet, I’ll check”.    No one seemed to notice my absence for a week.  While I assumed I’d be crestfallen, like the organization would crumble without me, I was thrilled that I managed to set things up well enough that things could run smoothly in my absence, and I could slide right back in and pick up where things were left off with my batteries completely recharged and ready to face work happily.

It also gives me hope that if I do go out on maternity leave again, that it would be devastating. Shhhhhhhhh that’s for another blog J