Things I learned about myself and my kids when I took them to work for 2 days.

Ok, so I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but I’m in Marketing.  I work for a global organization in the Canadian office bringing new technologies to the market.  We have a large meeting room that has all of our products in it on display.  We call it our Gallery.  It’s got one of the largest boardroom tables in the world in the middle of it and product all the way around.  We’ve grown over the past decade by innovation and acquisition.  As a result, we often have to “update the Gallery” and it’s often a daunting task.

This year, I decided to put my slaves … errr I mean sons to work.  They’re 13 and 10 and since they’re too young (legally) to work in Canada, the company agreed to pay them in gift cards.  For two full days work, they’d get a $100 gift card (each) to a local retailer.  They were STOKED.  Of course, Monday morning when I had to wake the 13-year-old up for the first time before 11 am all summer (woke him up at 6:40) they were less than enthusiastic.  But here are my learnings.

·        Fear of disappointing or embarrassing Mother is a wonderful motivator to maintain excellent behaviour.

·        My 13-year-old doesn’t say a lot but my 10-year-old NEVER STOPS TALKING.

·        Physical work for two boys who have done very little all summer causes them to sleep in the car all the way home and put themselves to bed early.

·        I finally found a restaurant near my work they both LOVE.  I will be stopping there often to get takeout on the way home.

·        I am physically exhausted from managing them and work for two days.

·        I don’t get to talk to LML nearly as much throughout the day when they’re with me.

·        They’re apparently freaked out by heavy rain

·        They both made me very proud with a very hard work ethic and earned every cent they made.

The youngest said he’d miss my office and he can’t wait until he’s old enough to come work here too … I’m just hoping I’ll have retired by then or I may need to put a cot in my office for naps!

Trust

It's one word, five letters; yet so powerful, so important, so easily damaged and so hard to repair.   I’ve had trust issues for most of my life.  My father is an ass.  Always has been, always will be.  For the last 20+ years that he’s been completely out of my life has been a blessing.  My ex-husband lost my trust early in the relationship and never even tried to regain it.  He lied, a lot or he’d purposely leave out pertinent information.  I didn’t trust him and it was a huge part of the demise of our marriage. 

In business, I’ve seen a lot of young bucks say “fake it until you make it”.  I remember doing that, I’d make up answers that sounded plausible, but I really didn’t know.  That burned me a few times and one of my best leaders taught me that “I don’t know, but I’ll find out and get back to you” is a WAY better answer than anything else I could say if I didn’t know.  Once people peg you as a liar, you lose their trust, and that’s ridiculously hard to earn back.

TCW (Toxic CoWorker) is a liar.  I’ve caught her a number of times either blatantly lying to cover her ass or getting hyperbolic and blowing things way out of proportion.  Now, I simply ignore her.  I know I can’t trust her.  It’s a shame; a lot of people do trust her and end up getting burned by her over and over again.  I did, in the beginning, but I’ve since learned my lesson.  It really sucks, having to keep your eye on someone who will knife you in the back faster than she’ll even smile at you.  She’s not even subtle about it.  I walked past her bitching about me to FCW (Flakey CoWorker) in FCW’s office with the door open.  She’d not said a word to me, but she’d bitched about me to one of the sales guys (who told me) so I knew what she was complaining about. 

Two weeks ago TCW was out with that Sales Guy and one of our US colleagues.   She’d texted me in the middle of the day “Do you know where Staples HO is?”  *sigh* again, complete lack of manners drives me absolutely bat-shit.  I was tempted to simply ignore her text, but there was no need to punish SG or USC because she’s a cow.  I simply responded with “yes” but at the same time emailed the address to her and SG.  Apparently, she exploded in the car calling me all sorts of names (she didn’t look at her email).  She texted back “please” and I immediately responded with “already emailed it to you”.  She was complaining about what a bitch I was to FCW, I just looked at both of them, smirked and walked away.

She’s taught me that no matter how nice she can appear I cannot trust her.   She also reminds me that I don’t want to lose other people's trust.  It’s very important, and obviously more important that she knows.  I've finally got a marriage based on trust, love and respect.  I've built a reputation at work based on trust, respect and quality.  I know and respect its value.  

Gratitude.

Ok, enough complaining for one day, time to change focus!  At our sales conference this year, our President focused his speech on the importance of Gratitude.  Wow, that was like a lightning bolt to me.  I’d written a very short speech (as I’d received the leadership award for the second year in a row) and my theme, as well, was gratitude.  I was grateful to my leadership team for allowing me the opportunities to grow, discover, fail and succeed.  I was grateful for all the team members that I had the opportunity to work with through company integrations, product launches, product discover and design and all the little details that make a company run.

Hmmmm

That sounds much more like where I’d like to focus.  Today a friend called me her hero.  I was gobsmacked.  Another friend is having issues in her marriage and we’re on a private board to talk her through it.  It’s a group of on-line friends (some of us have met in person) and we’ve been “together” for about 10 years.  Some married, some divorced, all moms who love their kids and are trying to do their best.  As this one friend is having issues, the other divorced mom and I jump sharing our experiences, in an effort to help and support.  I told the other divorced mom I was so proud of everything she’d accomplished on her own and raising an epic young man.  She turned around and told me I was her hero, younger, hot husband, two great kids, kicking ass at work … wow.  Sometimes you’re so mired in the muck of the forest, you forget about the beauty and wonder around you and it takes a friend to point it out.

So ya, I am grateful for having this job that pays me well and does recognize my efforts (9 awards in less than 5 years).  I am grateful for having a husband who loves me for me, makes me feel like the center of the universe, spoils me with his love, time and attention, and often the most thoughtful gifts in the world.  I’m really grateful to have two awesome sons who are kind, respectful, loving, strong and all around good people.  I’m grateful to have the most amazing group of women who live inside my iPhone and laptop, who I can reach out to that will lift me up, make me laugh, or offer to help hide the bodies when I need them. 

I’m really very lucky, and I’m so very grateful for it.

The monkeys and clowns.

Work is getting to me again.  It’s strange; this is usually a pretty chill time of the year.  Deadlines are 5-6 months away, it’s not the “height of launch season” which is our stressful time of year (spring) but work is STRESSING ME OUT.

I need to keep repeating to myself, that while this is my circus, these clowns are not my responsibility and while this is my zoo, I’m not responsible for or to most of these monkeys.  My department has a terrible reputation for a poor work ethic.  One coworker (TCW) is currently bringing her suspended 17 y/o daughter to work here this week.  Wait .. WAT?  She’s suspended from school, so she’s going to bring her here so she can “work” for our company.  She’s literally getting paid to sit around and draw.  She’s not contributing anything to our company, and she’s getting PAID for it.  Sweet deal.  I bet $10 she’s suspended again a couple of times.

Another one of my coworkers (chatterbox) cannot come into work on time.  The big boss has sent out multiple emails stating the start of work is 8 (you can leave at 4:30) or 8:30 (you can leave at 5:00.  Those are the company hours.  However, every day chatterbox shows up between 9:10 – 9:20 … literally EVERY DAY.  I have one of the longer commutes out of my coworkers and I can manage to get in on time, even with dropping kids off at daycare.  This monkey lives with her mother, and STILL can’t get to work on time.  Worst of all, there seems to be no repercussions. 

People do shit, stupid shit here and never own up to it.  Idiot Field Sales manager decided to send two display kits to each of our reps (instead of the one I authorized) just in case they needed a backup.  Dafuq?  Those are VERY expensive kits, the reps have a ridiculously high turnover rate, and the backups are to be kept HERE.  Dumbass, please never procreate.

 This is a highly successful, billion dollar company.  I would expect highly professional Mensa type people to work here.  Instead we have an R&D Manager that isn’t interested in making technical discoveries … even when they’re handed to him on a silver platter; he’s too busy being LAZY.  Where people’s first reaction is “no” … before you even finish the question is “no, we can’t do that”.  SERIOUSLY?  Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to nail water to a superhydrophobic surface!

*sigh* I do love what I do.  I get to be creative and work on really cool products.  I get paid decently, and I’ve been recognized for my hard work and contributions.  I have multiple awards and a recent promotion to show for it.  I have reasonable working conditions and for the most part get along with everyone, that’s why I stay.  I like my job, I just can’t suffer the fools who get paid far too well for what little they contribute.

Trying to let it go

Don't worry, I'm not about to bust into some Frozen tunes, but I'm finding myself challenged at work currently.  Don't get me wrong, I love my job, like most of my coworkers and have a great boss.  I'm happier here than I've ever been at a job.  Most days are great, but right now I'm annoyed beyond belief and need to figure it out.

I work in a department of 4 women, one man and a male boss.  Most of the time it's harmonious and pretty laid back.  Right to the point of sometimes punctuality goes right out the window.  Last week we were pretty bad for it.  The boss will randomly come in late, and we'll all start to follow that pattern.  We all started to abuse the flexibility last week to the point where the boss sent an email about respecting the start times, but it only went to the ladies.  The other male coworker is one of the worst offenders, but that is actually a different story.  

This happens, it's cyclical, we get told to straighten up, communicate with the team better and obey the rules and we usually do.  This time, however, TCW is still running rogue.  We've been told to honour the start times.  There are two approved start times, either 8-430 or 830-5, and TCW continues to stroll in around 915.  She says she works until 6 but I know from personal experience, that when the boss leaves (usually by 5) she's out the door minutes later.  We're also supposed to let the team know what's up. She never does.  She wasn't in the office at all yesterday, and today I found out it was due to an "off site meeting".  She took an ENTIRE day off for a 1 hour meeting with a 90 minute drive on either side of it.  Then today, she strolls in after 915 again.

I know it shouldn't be my business, but she's been promoted (to a level above me) during my employment there and she's also had her workload reduced, where I keep getting more dumped on me.  

I know that life isn't fair, but it's not equitable and it's starting to really piss me off.  I could go to my boss, but I don't know how to voice my concerns without sounding like a whiner.  I could go to HR, but that's TCWs style, not mine.  I know that I should just let it roll off my back and let Karma get her, but I'm having a hard time letting this one go.

Wait, who stole September?!?!?!?

What do you mean it’s been a whole month since I’ve blogged?  CRAP, sorry ‘bout that …. I’ve been kinda busy!

It’s been another crazy month.  My birthday month was awesome; that’s right, after 35 you’re eligible to claim the ENTIRE month as your birthday and celebrate appropriately.  September flew by in a flurry of activity.  My long-lost friend Michelle and I reconnected.  We had a falling out about 7 years ago, and finally allowed the water to flow under the bridge and caught up.  It was good, another mistake from my past corrected.  Another long time friend FINALLY came home from her worldly travels and came up for the weekend.  The lil gifts charmed her to the point she almost stole them both on her way out the door.  She met LML and approved, good thing as she’s my maid of honour at the wedding.

Lately work though, has been absolutely insane.  I’m launching 60 new items, transitioning 4 entire brands to improve profitability, and working on half a dozen different marketing projects.  There’s ZERO mucking about and wasting time at work right now.  I have to keep the smile plastered to my face while sales people blow their lids, warehouse people lose shipments, coworkers ignore request … so I’ll just tell them what I think as I walk by!

Feeling the need for speed.

WOW, what a weekend.  I think I have a mild adrenalin hangover!   A coworker and I had the opportunity to hit a Grand Prix race as VIP guests.  WOW.  We spent the weekend, schmoozing with race car drivers, eating gourmet food, watching some really fast cars.  The ultimate was hanging out in the pit DURING the race.  Watching a Grand Prix Ferrari come to a stop in front of you, change its wheels, change its driver and get fueled up will make your hair stand on end when you’re only 8-10 feet away from the powerful machine.

I think I may have found the eldest gift’s calling, as he’s skinny enough to fit in with the race car driver set.  I’d never given it much thought before, but not only the weight component slowing the cars down, but being an absolute tooth pick so you can get IN and OUT of the race car is imperative.  I (not so gracefully) wedged myself into it and crawled back out. 

A picture is worth a thousand words, so I’ll leave it to those, and 2 videos!

VROOM VROOM!

Respect – it’s a two way street.

I’m sitting here in my office, listening to TCW speaking down to her youngest daughter (12 years old) on the phone.  Her voice carries (particularly with its whiney quality) and while I’d guess (hope) the beginning part of the conversation was cordial, this part is just ugly.  She’s not screaming, but she’s being completely condescending to her daughter.  I don’t live in her house, and I can’t hear the other side of the conversation, but if ANYONE spoke to me as TCW was speaking to her daughter, I’d hang up the phone.   I’m guessing the other side of the conversation is much the same, as we act as we are taught.

Respect is a big thing in our house.  We respect one another, all of us, from the gifts to me to BBE.  Everyone treats everyone else with respect.  Manners highly prized and praised in our home.  I would NEVER belittle the boys, publically or privately, that just tears them down.  When they act out, we try to find the root of the problem (99/100 someone is overtired) and we deal with it by respecting the other person.  The ONLY time you’ll hear yelling in our house is when we’re playing the “I LOVE YOU” game from different rooms.

The gifts respect us, and we respect them.  They’re little people who will grow into bigger people and act based on what they learn and how they’re treated.  It’s my responsibility to not act disrespectfully to ANYONE, but most importantly to my family!  If they’re not respected by me, who can they count on to treat them right?

And that my friends, is a frozen Tuesday afternoon one to grow on!

Reason 4,248 why the mean girls hate me

I’ve worked here for just shy of 2 years.  The department was in chaos when I first started.  One person (who I replaced) retired with no notice a couple of months prior and another was off on “stress level”.  That left TCW (toxic coworker) trying to hold down the fort and during my interview, act as if nothing was wrong.  She actually did a good job and it earned her Senior to her title earlier this year.    Then FCW (flakey coworker) was promoted into the stress puppy’s job and everything seemed right with the world.  Three women, ready to take our industry by storm.  We had lunch together every day, chit chatted a lot, griped about husbands (A LOT) and basically were thick as thieves. 

After about 6 months things changed, and rather dramatically; I decided that I needed to stop bitching about my life (specifically my marriage) and CHOOSE to be happy.   No one was going to do it for me; I had to do it myself.  So, I separated from my then-husband, buckled down at work and did an awesome launch, focused on me, my health, my best friend, my kids and my job.  It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

Now life is very different, I’m SPOILED with love.  Those who truly love me and are my friends are thrilled to see me so happy.  I’m enjoying my job, I have a VERY busy schedule with my kids and the love of my life.  We do things together.  We go to Toronto to our favourite brew pubs and bistros.  We attend beer and / or wine tasting events.  We explore, we’re having fun, all of it together or together with the kids.  Today we had a babyshower lunch for and awesome coworkers.  This awesome coworker has met (and had lunch with) my boyfriend and since he was on nights, I invited him to the lunch as well, I knew ACW would like that.  Of course when TCW & FCW walked in they were surprised.  Even thought TCW’s husband had worked with our company for a year (recently) she NEVER would have invited him. 

The problem is, they’re women stuck in relationships that aren’t working for them.  TCW has made it clear (to me during the friendly times) that she’s just sticking it out for the kids.  When her youngest goes off to University (5 years from now) she plans on handing her husband walking papers.  WOW.  FCW cycles through liking her partner and hating him.  I think they’re poorly matched, but he’s cute and makes good money, so she’s putting up with it.  She really doesn’t think life could be better.  Now they’re watching me happy in love and spoiled rotten.  They will make snide remarks which I usually ignore, but their faces today, that I include my love in on this celebration was priceless.  Yep, bite me biotches!  I’ve chosen to be happy and go ahead and hate me for it.  Hate me because I’m beautiful too!

I should have checked my fortune stones!

I purchased fortune stones (fortune telling) at GenCon last week.  Apparently I should have checked them this morning as they likely would have advised me to stay in bed.  My first day back to work started off with the complete inability to drag my exhausted butt outta bed.  That’ll teach me to sleep into 10:00 am for over a week.  *yawn*.  Then it would appear that I switched my razor with a cheese grater in my bathroom as I did an AWESOME job of bloodying my legs this morning.  GROSS.  Seriously, blood running down BOTH shins.  Jackson thought the large pieces of red tissue paper stuck to my shins this morning was fascinating.  I likely should have put pants on, but I was running late and already had a skirt picked out for the day.

After herding the boys into the truck (this was actually one of the easier parts of my day) I managed to drop my new water bottle (metal and FULL of water) on to previously mentioned bleeding shin and eventually my foot (clad only in sandals)  OUCH … @#&$*&@^$*@#. 

Did I mention that I’m fighting Con Crud too?  My throat feels like I’ve gargled with razor blades (so THAT’S where the blades went and the reason I had to use the cheese grater on my legs) … *sigh*. 

Fortunately there were no disastrous accidents or traffic delays on the way into work, but I did need to drop the truck off (we’ve been trying to get it Eco-certified for my license renew – due next week) and I informed the mechanic of my joyous ride home last time I picked it up (stalled a dozen times going home during BRUTAL traffic)AND the engine light was still on.  I have until Friday to get this sorted out or I’ll be taking transit to work!  He promptly informed me it may be time to call in a priest.  NO!  I love my truck … fix it!

So, I finally get to work and one of my coworkers is parked in my boss’ spot.  Hmmmm apparently boss is on vacation (again) and I haven’t seen him since July.  He was off, and then I was off, now he’s off again.  He’s emailing me for updates as I’m sure his boss is looking for them so that’s going to take a while to type out … of course the answer to most of them is “I don’t know, let me catch up from vacation”.   It’s also deathly quiet in the office.  My two coworkers don’t appear to be in a good mood, as neither is talking to the other (one is ALWAYS in the other’s office gabbing) and neither are talking to me.  Good news is, no one is bothering me while I catch up, bad news is that the vibe in here is pretty negative.  

Actually taking vacation

Ok, I did it.  For the first time in recent memory I took a full week’s vacation … and not only that, I went unplugged from work.  Anyone that knows me knows I’m a bit of a workaholic control freak!  My iPhone is NEVER far from my side, save the shower, and then it’s on the bathroom counter.  I keep the volume turned on if I actually let one of the gifts play with it, and they know, without question or hesitation that if it makes the “bing” sound, they must hand it back to me immediately so I can check it.  This is how I live, and I’m used to it.

The Saturday of my first night of vacation we had some friends over.  Friends that we’d met through the oldest gifts class.  He and she had been in class together since JK and they’ve just completed grade 2.  Her mother is a SAHM, and is rather introverted and shy.  Yep, she is the polar opposite of me, but her husband is very outgoing and charismatic, so I think she likes that I’m bit like him.  She asked me what I do about work when I’m on vacation.  Well, I usually check my email, but I’d already warned work that BBE was going to throw my phone in the St Lawrence while we were in Montreal if I worked, so I did the unthinkable.  I disabled my work email from my iPhone.  I thought I’d start shaking and sweating, but the liquid courage (in the form of a lovely Sauvignon Blanc) gave me courage.  I figured I’d wake up with a hangover and a giant regret as I scrambled to reconnect my email to my lifeline, however, neither happened the next morning.  I woke up feeling refreshed and excited about a week free of work.

I did it, and it was FREEING.  I reconnected my email to my iPhone (for the record, it’s my personal iPhone as the company does not provide me with one and it’s completely my choice to stay connected as I do).  They’re used to me checking my emails while not at work, and everyone spoke to me upon my return as if I was 100% up to date and in the loop.  I wasn’t, and I just smiled, managed through my 8:00 am communications meeting the morning I returned throwing out phrases like “I’m still following up on that” or “I haven’t heard back yet, I’ll check”.    No one seemed to notice my absence for a week.  While I assumed I’d be crestfallen, like the organization would crumble without me, I was thrilled that I managed to set things up well enough that things could run smoothly in my absence, and I could slide right back in and pick up where things were left off with my batteries completely recharged and ready to face work happily.

It also gives me hope that if I do go out on maternity leave again, that it would be devastating. Shhhhhhhhh that’s for another blog J

Waltzing into the spotlight on 7” spikes

BBE spoils me. I think that’s become very evident to anyone who reads my blog, looks at my facebook page, is within ear shot of me EVER … yes, I’m very spoiled. This past Mothers Day, after being treated to an amazing brunch for his mother and I, then informed that his mother and I would book our day at the Scandinavian Spa so that we couldn’t put it off (another treat he was paying for), he felt bad because he didn’t take the gifts out to buy me a gift. Huh? Seriously? I am ALWAYS treated like a Queen, he worked like crazy to make sure it was the perfect weekend, then felt bad … I couldn’t believe it. I told him that he makes me happy EVERY DAY! That the gifts had made cards and presents at school (which I loved) and that they were making me feel truly appreciated and loved, which IS the greatest gift of all.

I have mom friends who get nothing more than what the kids make in school. They live with the father of their children (their husbands) and are always completely over looked. I have friends that aren’t cherished, appreciated and loved the way I am on Mother’s Day, or any other day, but I am spoiled CONSTANTLY in that way. I tried explaining this to BBE, but there’s no stopping him when he’s got an idea brewing.

He tells me to go on to my FAVOURITE shoe website www.gojane.com and fill in my wish list. This is the site which I have 7 KILLER pair of heels from that he’s purchased for me and together we find some spectacular stilettos that I can wear to work. The shoes I’ve already got aren’t really “corporate” friendly being heel-less heels, but they’re fun for parties, and clubbing. This time, Momma is going to get a pretty new pair of shoes for work. Oh wait, one pair is not really spoiling, so he purchases THREE. A pink peep toe pair of 7” (pictured above), a black patent closed toe 6” and a black velvet close toe 6”. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, they arrived yesterday!

Today at the office, I decided I want to show them off, but not be obvious about it. I walk into the kitchen past ACW’s office and she YELLS “OMG THOSE ARE GREAT SHOES”! My boss, and another male VP were in the hallway and of course had to check them out. Remember, I’m almost 5’11”, so 7” heels are insanely dramatic. My boss is now shorter than me, and the other VP says “I’m not used to men being my height, and never a woman”. *grins*

I love the smell of new shoes in the morning!

I’m going to go check the warehouse and see if Dilbert has been hired here!

I work for a paint and coatings company in marketing. Well, I have a brand new product coming in and I need a sample from the warehouse to make sure everything is okay with it. We’ve had a few problems lately, so I’m simply doing my “due diligence”. We used to have a purchasing team in the Canadian office to do this, but they’ve eliminated those positions (moved them down to the USA) and I decided to pick up the slack.


From Awesome Warehouse Shift Supervisor (AWSS) to Me:

This item has arrived today and it is now in stock.
By copy to Stewart, please create a pick location for this new item.



Me to Customer Service (warehouse staff on cc):

Can you please place an order for 1xXXXXXX and have it delivered to my office ASAP for a QC check?



Turkey Warehouse Manager (TWM) to me (with people on cc):

Folks, we have to be careful how much finished goods are stored in office areas, including the gallery. The best way is to inspect in the DC and order empty labelled cans as samples for the gallery/office area.



Me to TWM (with people on cc):

I appreciate that TWM, and when empty samples are available, we will replace the gallery stock with them, but to ensure we have correct and up to date images of product for web, catalogue and customer requirements, I need those samples up here ASAP.



TWM to Me (people on cc):

are you suggesting that we put the facility at risk of burning down, because we do not have the ability to expedite a couple of empty sample cans, over night if needed, to our headquarters. I suggest we order the empty sample cans and wait, but in the meantime, have someone come down to the DC and inspect, view, touch etc. the product in the area where we have adequate fire protection.



WTF? We have TONS of aerosols up in the front offices and our Gallery (showroom) has literally hundreds of them in there. No idea why he’s picking this particular hill to die on.



Me to TWM (people on CC):

I believe you're being a little melodramatic, which really doesn't help anyones cause.

Please have the samples delivered upstairs. I will do my QC in the warehouse, but we MUST send this product out for photography.

As well, if it is that much of a concern, please provide some support to clear out ALL aerosol samples that are currently in the offices and the gallery immediately, lest I not feel safe coming in to work. Should I notify my boss and your boss that we should all evacuate the building IMMEDIATELY?

See, the drama doesn't do any good.



TWM to me (same people enjoying the show on cc)

you can do whatever you want....I explained my position regarding this matter and as far as I am concerned; the matter is over and will no longer "tax" my time and efforts.



Fortunately some of the people that were copied on the insanity are more sales and customer service oriented (such as customer service and AWSS) and risked their life and limb by delivering my samples to my office.



I’ve QC’d them, they’re fine … time to return to work.

The Corporate Drama Llama

Work has been crazy. It’s our super busy time of the year while we’re trying to launch all of the product we sold in the fall. Everyone is on edge, and last week there was an ugly blow up. Super Cool Boss (my boss) was away travelling for work and Toxic Coworker (one of the other Managers who was just promoted to Senior the Friday before) came into my office and started causing trouble. Toxic Coworker and I had a blow up last summer and since then I’ve kept my distance. I’m professional, but not “friendly” with her. She lies, throws people under the bus constantly, complains, gossips and is just generally a very negative person to be around. She came in trying to cause drama between Awesome Coworker and I (Awesome Coworker is the other Manager in our group, there are three of us) and I stopped her in her tracks. I said “if you’d like to discuss Awesome Coworker, I’d rather have her here to defend herself”. Needless to say, Toxic Coworker wasn’t impressed. Then she went on to complain that she received a 100 of congratulatory emails on her promotion, but nothing from her two coworkers. Sure, I could have lied, but I’m a pretty honest person these days and I told her, that I wanted to talk to Super Cool Boss about it. That I wanted to understand what she’d done to earn the promotion. Again, she wasn’t happy, leaving my office in tears, then I went to Awesome Coworker’s office to warn her what Toxic Coworker had done. Awesome Coworker marched into Toxic Coworker’s office saying “I don’t have time for this bullsh!t”. Toxic Coworker then bee lined down to HR about how unprofessional and mean we all were.

Seriously, it’s just beyond stupid. Toxic Coworker is mad that Awesome Coworker and I are friends. For example, when she was trying to tell me not to trust Awesome Coworker she said “Awesome Coworker has told me all about you, things I’m sure you don’t want me to know”. I didn’t fall for it; I told her that I’d only discuss Awesome Coworker with her present. Then I told Awesome Coworker (later) what Toxic Coworker had said. She literally screamed “BULLSH!T”. Awesome Coworker knows a lot about the relationship between me and Best Boyfriend Ever and she swore she hadn’t told Toxic Coworker any of that. I believe her, because later, she went into Toxic Coworker’s office and said “What did I tell you about Technomum that she wouldn’t like?” And Toxic Coworker responded with “Oh I meant hypothetically” … WTF???? This cow is such a liar, that’s why I don’t believe a word she says. Needless to say, we all got hauled into HR’s office to discuss things. My conversation with HR was pretty comical … I asked her how she liked policing the “mean girls”. ;-) I chalked it up to another round of Toxic Coworker stupidity and figured it had run its course. I should have known better. Toxic Coworker informed Super Cool Boss that I was questioning his decision to promote Toxic Coworker and was badmouthing him. More lies. On Monday, Super Cool Boss pulled each of us in individually and gave us a talking too. I explained to Super Cool Boss that I wasn’t questioning him, rather I was wondering what Toxic Coworker had done to get promoted so that I could model her behavior and get myself promoted. Super Cool Boss visibly relaxed and said “oh that makes sense”. When he explained all the things that she’d done to earn the promotion, I pointed out they were ALL prior to my employment, so I really appreciated getting a better understanding of it.

All in all, it was Toxic Coworker causing drama and stirring up trouble. This isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last. It’s why I keep my distance from her. I’m just the latest of a long list of coworkers who don’t like her and have been thrown under the bus by her. Hell she accused another manager Smart Guy Coworker of sexual harassment (which was false) just so she could get the position open for one of her friends. She’s a total shark and one of the worst people I’ve ever worked with. I would hate her, but her home life is miserable, so it’s just more misery in her life. She’s got two daughters that she lives vicariously through. Her husband is an absolute deadbeat who is constantly having affairs. He came on to me the first time I met him. Poor guy, she’s absolutely frigid, so he’s likely lonely. Prior to all the drama last summer, we were friends and we did talk. She doesn’t love him, but feels parents need to be together to raise the children. When her youngest goes to University (in 7 years) she plans on handing him his walking papers and living alone. She’s really a cold person, another reason I don’t like her.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that I didn’t get “caught in any lies” because I was absolutely honest and sincere, unlike Toxic Coworker. Things are calm around here again, but I’m sure another dramatic event will blow soon, and we’ll all be chatting with HR and the boss again. Best part was that Toxic Coworker was caught in multiple lies. Not only the one she told Super Cool Boss about me, but actually lied about what HR said to her. HR and Super Cool Boss were talking and HR would say “I never said that!” … yep, Toxic Coworker is a train wreck, but she’s good at her job and gets things done … so we keep her.

That was my work drama, and everything else is going well.