Doing the mom thing right!

Following my friends on FaceBook, I often do the quizzes that my friends do, just to see how I fair, because the answers are sometimes hysterical or I just want to prove how epically Canadian I am.  Today a friend of mine did a word cloud.  I find these fascinating because it shows the words you often use and the more you use a word, the bigger it is in the cloud. 

Here is mine.

For a minute I was awash with guilt.  While both boys’ names are there, they’re TINY.  I thought “I can’t share that!” what will people think?  That I don’t talk about my kids enough?  Then it hit me.

• I’m not just a mom.
• I’m not just an employee.
• I’m not just a wife.
• I’m not just a family member.
• I’m not just a best friend.
• I’m not just a baseball fan.

I’m many things, all of the above and more.  I don’t live solely for my children and I’m not just “their mom”.  I’m a dynamic person with a lot of passions and apparently a lot of happiness.  BHE and I do a LOT of things together.  We go on adventures, we explore new things, and we get out and about so it’s obvious that he’d be the biggest name.  It’s obvious I’m living my best life full of love and happiness.

There’s no shame in my game.  I love my kids, they’re a very important part of my life and an important part of me, but I don’t live only for them, I live with them and they get to see what a happy and fulfilled parent looks like.  I know they’re happy and well loved and I’m thrilled with the balance and joy in my life.

I'm THAT mom

I’m not sure if I ever mentioned, but ever four weeks is different for me.  My custody schedule with 1stH is rotating every other week.  We co-parent well, there’s no tension or animosity, and we try to help each other out as much as we can, so I’m very lucky on that front.  BHE works shift work, two weeks days, two weeks nights.  Therefore my life goes as follows:

Week 1 – nuclear family.  BHE picks up the gifts from daycare and we do usual family stuff in the evening.

Week 2 – young couple in love.  The gifts are at their father’s so it’s just BHE and me every evening.

Week 3 – single mom.  The gifts are with me, but BHE is on nights so it’s the mom show.

Week 4 – single lady.  The gifts are with their father and BHE is on nights so I basically binge watch Netflix and have popcorn and wine for dinner.  AKA the week the house stays clean.

It took a while to get used to this schedule.  I’d find week 3 crazy and week 4 lonely.  I’ve come to love and appreciate each week for how special they are.  I’m VERY lucky that BHE is an AMAZING step-dad and handles the kids as if they were his own by blood. 

Last night (it’s currently week 3) the night looked horrific.  The littlest gift had an eye appointment.  He’d been complaining about blurriness at school, but fortunately still has 20/20 vision and 1stH had booked an appointment for him at 5:30 the same night biggest gift has cub scouts.  Ok, tough, but not unmanageable.  Then I find out that the biggest gift has an offsite cubs night that starts an hour earlier and ends at the same time.   CRAP.  I reached out to 1stH and asked him to take care of littlest gift eye appointment and we’d work the rest out.  After the eye appointment 1stH offered to keep the littlest gift for the evening, I checked with littlest gift and he wanted that too, so I happily accepted the help, it was garbage night and my chore load was heavy. 

After dropping off the biggest gift at the Art Centre (downtown), I ordered the fundraiser pizza for dinner, picked up the mail, went home, cleaned the rat cage, did the garbages, unloaded the dishwasher, ate dinner, went back and picked up biggest gift and came home again.  Normally I’d feel a little frazzled dragging the littlest gift around with me, but it all went off without a hitch.  Biggest gift had an awesome night at cubs, came home, had dinner, watched a bit of TV with me and went to bed.  Wow, all that and it was EASY!  I realized managing one less child than normal makes life about 30 x easier (particularly when it’s only your easy child you’re working with).

Biggest gift is getting vested into his cub pack next week.  When I spoke to BHE about it last night on the phone, I couldn’t remember the term “vested” so I just told him he was being jumped in.  Ya, I’m THAT mom!