Some days’ shine, but this one has been epic!

Ok, we all know that for the most part, I’m a generally happy person who enjoys herself.  The Love of My Life (LML) works really hard to make sure we have epic adventures and fun times.  Just over the past few weeks, we’ve got to a few musicals, an amazing concert, wonderful Christmas parties, etc.  My feed is often filled with shiny happy me and LML and often the gifts as well.

While the light in my life often shines brightly today has been absolutely amazing and feel like this needs to be documented for posterity, or at least a reminder when I hit one of those crappy days.

·        My drive to work was quick and uneventful.  When you have an hour commute through the snow belt in winter you enjoy the peaceful drives.

·        LML has found a new series of books for me to listen to on the phone during my drive and they’re just awesome!  I almost want to be stuck in traffic so I can listen a little more.

·        Two of my favourite Instagram woodworkers came into the office today to see one of my coworkers (woodcare manager) and I busted in on their meeting so I could get these amazing guys on board with some of my products I thought they’d find helpful.  They’re absolutely delightful and I laughed … A LOT during this hour.

·        LML came out and took me out to lunch to my FAVOURITE pizza place AND we both have leftovers.

·        One of our newest hires turns out to be one of the BEST cosplayers around!  She’s actually used some of my products in her costume making and HOLY CRAP she’s absolutely amazing.  I can’t WAIT to show the gifts her account.

·        Another of my favourite DIY Diva’s came in for a visit.  She just lights up the place and makes me smile.

That’s not even it.  I have a relatively easy day, I should leave on time and I’ll listen to more of that book on my way home, then get to have dinner with two of the prettiest ladies in my life.

I’ve been mired in work, stress, tired, fighting sickness, dealing with the impending death of one of my best friends so it seems pretty dark lately.  Today got a whole lot brighter and it’s fed, my soul!

What happens to you is a direct reflection of your actions.

I get that, more today than ever; whether it is the problems in your life or the happiness.  I’ve been pretty alienated at work.  I’m okay with that.  I don’t get caught up in a lot of the high school histrionics that happens when 5 middle-aged women work together.  We’re all at various stages in our life.  Engaged, divorced, single, married, with kids, without, really the only thing we have in common is the name on our pay cheques.  Honestly, I doubt I’d be friends with any of them if I’d met them outside of work. 

I hear them come in and chat about “OMG you’ll never believe what happened … “ and it’s always a series of bad on-line dates, kids getting in trouble, getting blasted at work by one of the Sales guys, tremendous bills, etc.  There’s a lot of negativity in their lives, but I believe it’s just the world reflecting the negativity back that they put out.

Example #1  

TCW – She’s my BEC, I don’t know why, I think she should not get away with the majority of the shit she does get away with … I’ve never seen someone with so much rope!  She was going to keep her then husband until her girls were off to University, and then give him walking papers, because that’s what made her life easiest.  Well she busted him having an affair.  Their marriage then fell apart and she and her daughters went off the rails hard.  I get it, divorce is hard, and change is hard.  She started sleeping with whoever she could find on line, the stories truly were horrific.  Not surprisingly her daughters became rather promiscuous, drugs, dropping out of school, theft, stolen cars; it seemed a new low every day.  One of the problems was, TCW would be screwing up ROYALLY at work and there were no repercussions, so when her daughters were failing, she’d come in and rescue them.  None of them have hit bottom, because there’s always someone to catch them.   Even today, TCW is dating this “nice guy” but has her “army boy” that she’s expecting an engagement ring from.  She’s been seeing this army guy since her husband, but she doesn’t realize she’s just his local port.  But good grief, don’t try to TELL her any of this, she knows best!

Example #2 

FCW – she’s a physically beautiful woman.  She’s 50 but looks late 30’s and pretty much a blonde bombshell.  However either her standards are so ridiculously high, or she’s just so bitter about life, no one will ever want to be around.   I introduced her to a friend of mine a couple of years ago and they developed a close friendship.  I find out all sorts of stuff through this mutual friend.  She hates me because in the past 5 years I’ve divorced my “seemingly perfect” husband and gone on to win awards at work, be promoted, have straight A kids who are never in trouble, find the love of my life, get remarried and have a “charmed” life.  They use words like “lucky” but they don’t see all the work I put in behind the scenes.  I found the love of my life by marrying my best friend.  She would have taken one look at him and written him off because he’s short.  I looked to what was on the inside and saw the most amazing man in the world.

It’s more than just the obvious, it’s the attitude.  This morning on my way to work, I was stopped at a red light and all of a sudden I felt “BUMP”.  It’s the same feeling as when you stall a manual car, the same feeling when you’re hit from behind.  I truly believe that I’m Wonder Woman as my CR-V is invisible as this is the third time in 2 years that I’ve been rear ended.   We pulled off to the side and the lady behind me was obviously very upset.  She kept saying “I’m so sorry”.  Honestly, she likely just took her foot off the brake.  I couldn’t see any damage, the other two events were much more impactful.  I rubbed her arm and told her it was okay, we’ll just let it go and to take it easy on herself today.  She was stunned.  She was ready for wrath, for anger, for blame, but instead she got kindness and forgiveness.   No one was hurt, there weren’t any kids involved, and she took responsibility.  Maybe she’ll pay a bit more attention in the future and prevent a bigger accident.    

I jumped in my car, continued on to work and still beat my coworkers in.  I hear them whining and complaining about life to each other.  I’ve put on my wireless headset and decided to smile.  I’m lucky … no, I’m happy.  It’s a choice and I get positivity back from the Universe because of it.

It’s a choice, choose wisely.

A love for the ages

If you’re not a fan of my “OMG I love my husband so much” posts … you may want to skip this one. 

This past weekend LML and I went to his work Christmas party.  I’ve never experienced something on this scale.  There were about 3,000 people at the convention center.  We booked a wonderful hotel room at a spectacular rate.  It was a king suite on a corner so there were windows everywhere.  We did what we always do when we first check into a hotel …. Turn on HGTV and have a drink.  Cable is fun when someone else is paying for it.  Then we got all gussied up and headed out to catch the shuttle.  The party was really well done.  No need to drink and drive or pay for cabs, the company looked after everything. 

We walked into the main hall after checking our coats and it was beautiful; lighted seats and tall lit tables to enjoy cocktails and chat.  We got some drink tickets, grabbed a beverage and started to mingle.  We first met LML’s new sub-leader, a lovely man and his lovely wife.  I waited for LML to introduce me (which is weird for me because I usually introduce myself), but I know LML likes introducing me as “his wife” (and that makes me a bit melty!).  I went on to tell his sub-leader that he speaks rather highly of him and that made him smile.  We chatted a bit about the gifts and moved on.  Nice people, and I like to make people smile.

Later on, while at dinner two of LML’s coworkers found us and wanted to say hi.  I’d heard lots of stories on these two characters so I was rather intrigued to meet them as well.  I smiled, made small chit chat as one had been out east around the same time we were and the other has a second job installing floors and I’d love for him to do ours.  Just a few brief words and they were off.  LML and I had a lovely meal, a lot of beverages and enjoyed the entertainment.  Instead of staying late to dance the night away, we caught a shuttle back to our love hotel and enjoyed ourselves.  It was a really good night and I liked putting faces to the names from the stories I heard.

Well, yesterday was the first day back to work and you know there was going to be talk of the party.  I asked LML if there were any stories (3,000+ people and holiday party, there’s bound to be something), but LML didn’t hear any of it.  Just talk of people who enjoyed themselves and thought the company had done an excellent job this year.  One of his coworkers that I met told LML he was really impressed by me and asked him “how did you manage to get her?”  LML, in his overly modest way says “just lucky I guess”.

Let me clarify exactly how he got me:

• He treats me like the center of the Universe.
• He spoils me with incredibly thoughtful gifts constantly.
• He puts secret love letters in my luggage to delight me when I travel.
• He loves me and my boys as if we’ve all been together forever.
• He’s my best friend with the same weird sense of humour I have.
• He’s hot … seriously smoking HOT.
• He takes care of us, cooks for us, and helps out as a full partner and parent.
• He kisses me with a passion and fullness that makes me weak in the knees.
• He is a kind soul and generous with his time and attention to people who matter.
• He’s loyal, trustworthy, loving, generous, strong, affectionate and smart.

Honestly, I’m the lucky one and I thank those lucky stars every day that I found him and he loves me like no one else ever could.  Thank you LML, you are my Sun and my Stars, you are my forever!

So THIS is what it feels like … cool!

Ok, I’ll admit it, for the past 6-ish years I’ve had major “head of the country” envy toward the USA.  I was fascinated when Obama ran for the first time as I’d lament that our elections are so boring because it was always, this old white guy versus this old white guy versus this old white French guy.   While the USA was voting in their first African-American President; ground breaking considering that less than a few centuries ago, he may have been a slave.  So cool, well done USA!

Ohhhhhhh how the tables have turned!  Now we have the panda bear hugging, feminist, cool hottie leading our country.  The entire world is in love with him.  He takes selfies with supporters; his wife is French and BEAUTIFUL.  He’s effectively keeping his kids out of the major spotlight (my momma bear truly loves him for that) while he’s being treated like a rock star by the Americans.  In his political, polite and Canadian way, when asked about Donald Trump, he states “Canada will work with whoever the Americans choose as their leader” … but you can almost hear him whisper after “oh good god don’t vote in that buffoon”.  

Special Days

There are many special days throughout the year; birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc.  I am lucky enough to have three very special anniversaries to celebrate with the love of my life.  Each one is a moment in time, where we marked our commitment to one another in a special and loving way.

 March 13, 2013 – our first commitment day.

This one is rather unique and special to us.  He bought me a very unique and beautiful necklace to adorn my throat.  It’s light weight and made from titanium.  It’s a perfect circle and when I wear it, it has no beginning and no end, like our love for each other.  It’s a commitment because it can only be removed with a special key.  He carries the key on his key chain and I carry a spare in my purse.  It’s only ever been removed for medical purposes (I had an MRI done).  It goes through airport security with me, travels around the world with me. 

November 7, 2014 – our wedding day.

So proud of this story, we literally ran off to Vegas and got married.  It was spontaneous, plugged into technology (we live streamed it so our friends at home and around the world could watch).  It was silly, and funny, and truly lined up with our spirit of living life and enjoying it to the fullest.

June 21, 2015 – our wedding reception.

What an epic party!  We got all dressed up and celebrated.  IT WAS EPIC.  There were beautiful speeches (Michaela) and funny speeches (Jackson) and touching speeches (Ethan) and laughing, great food, wonderful beer, good friends, family.  Then we danced the night away!  I can’t even tell you if anything went wrong (well, people left early because they thought it was over, when they were just clearing tables for dancing) but nothing felt wrong and it was amazing.

So, add these three extra special days to all the other great days during the year and I’m truly one lucky lady!

A moment in time

This summer I was lucky enough to spend 11 magical days in Scotland.  I was constantly stunned by our journey thinking, okay, it CAN’T get better than this amazing place … and then the next place blew me away.  This was my second trip to Scotland and even more than the first time, I felt like I was truly home.  I love the people there; they’re so friendly and kind.  I love the food (please never tell me what the calorie count of Cullen Skink is) and the scenery … well, I’m spoiled by living in Canada which is truly beautiful, but Scotland was a whole other level of epic. 

Over a decade ago, I was in Paris (and Scotland) for a week.  I remember sitting outside the Louvre thinking, how do I hold on this moment?  I want to savour it, I want to make it last forever.  When I was in Scotland last month, I had a fleeting thought of that standing on Skye by Kilt Falls, but it was just a fleeting thought.  I’ve been pondering why I so vividly remember feeling that way in Paris and Scotland the first time but not so much this time.   I’m guessing it’s for a couple of reasons.

1.    I really do love my everyday life!  Ok, honestly I’d love to win the lottery big and not have to work, but I enjoy my job, my husband is amazing, the kids are fantastic.  We do fun things all the time, we laugh, we love, we’re happy.  I wasn’t as happy back then, so when I did feel that strong happiness, I wanted to hold on to it.  I have it 24/7/365 (ok, maybe a smidge less during traffic or PMS) but while I enjoy being away, I love being home.

2.    I know we’ll go back.  I have no idea if I’ll ever return to Paris (it was lovely, but a tad overwhelming), but BHE and I are absolutely planning to go back to Scotland, and not waiting for another decade to pass before we do! 

3.    There’s a whole big world out there I want to explore with BHE.  I want to go to Japan, Italy, Australia, South America, Africa … I want to explore everything with him.  I want to continue to laugh with him, see the world through his eyes.  Experience the wonder and excitement of being alive with him.

I’m still amazed that I’m lucky enough to not have to feel the need to hold on to one specific moment in time to be happy.  I’m truly grateful that I am happy!

~ signed the luckiest woman in the world!

How do you know … if he really loves you?

That’s right, mysterious (MIA) blogger girl has resurfaced … catch her quick, she’s likely to disappear again for a long stretch of time.  I’ve always used my blog as a way to either A) work through something that’s troubling me or B) entertain myself.  As you can see by my utter lack of blogging, I haven’t been overly troubled as of later … and FB games have been entertaining me well.

I find myself half way between my wedding (Nov 7, 2014) and my reception (June 21, 2015).  The wedding was the easy part.  Call the chapel, book it and they take care of everything, the reception, on the other hand has been a bit more of a challenge.  That being said, it’s all coming together nicely.  My location is AH-MAZE-ING!!!!  Not only is it a GREAT location, it’s by the water and the owners are absolutely spectacular.  The caterer is looking pretty fly and OMG BHE and the boys in their kilts?  To die for!

Everything has been coming up Millhouse lately (man, I really don’t want to jinx it).

Today, I found this on FB, and it’s so utterly true!

I said that to BHE just last night.  We had a lovely evening alone where he picked up our favourite Thai, had a beautiful bottle of wine chilled and even bought me a new coffee mug for work (it says “Good Morning Beautiful”).  *melts* words are that and while I love hearing him tell me that he loves me, it’s amazing to see it and feel it through his actions.  That’s how I know he REALLY loves me, he makes me FEEL loved … every … single … day!.

I know, I’ll always get butterflies with him and that’s just another of the thousands of reasons that I am the luckiest girl ever and the happiest wife in the world!

Wait, who stole September?!?!?!?

What do you mean it’s been a whole month since I’ve blogged?  CRAP, sorry ‘bout that …. I’ve been kinda busy!

It’s been another crazy month.  My birthday month was awesome; that’s right, after 35 you’re eligible to claim the ENTIRE month as your birthday and celebrate appropriately.  September flew by in a flurry of activity.  My long-lost friend Michelle and I reconnected.  We had a falling out about 7 years ago, and finally allowed the water to flow under the bridge and caught up.  It was good, another mistake from my past corrected.  Another long time friend FINALLY came home from her worldly travels and came up for the weekend.  The lil gifts charmed her to the point she almost stole them both on her way out the door.  She met LML and approved, good thing as she’s my maid of honour at the wedding.

Lately work though, has been absolutely insane.  I’m launching 60 new items, transitioning 4 entire brands to improve profitability, and working on half a dozen different marketing projects.  There’s ZERO mucking about and wasting time at work right now.  I have to keep the smile plastered to my face while sales people blow their lids, warehouse people lose shipments, coworkers ignore request … so I’ll just tell them what I think as I walk by!

If I cannot lead by example, allow me to at least be a warning.

I’m looking forward to my wedding in 2015 with a great deal of excitement.  I’m fortunate enough to have found the love of my life, and he loves me back.  He treats me like a princess and a person.  He has a great deal of respect for me, what I do, and more importantly who I am.  He calls me SuperMom (one of my favourite compliments) and is always honest with me.  I not only trust him with my heart, I trust him with my boys and my life. 

But of course, this isn’t my first rodeo, or trip down the aisle.  I did it, almost 20 years ago, believing it would be the only time I would ever get married.  I was marrying a man I respected and loved, and that was enough, or so I thought.  I look back and it’s not all my fault, nor is it his entire fault why the marriage didn’t work.  We were simply two people so broken together, nothing could repair us.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m forever grateful we didn’t work out, so that I could find the love of my life.  I spent literally decades asking “is this all there is? Is this all that marriage is?”  I was lonely, I wanted someone who WANTED to BE with me, and my ex-husband didn’t.   He wanted me to mother his children, and be successful in my career, but he didn’t want to share a life.

I can see so clearly where we went wrong, and I WILL NOT make those mistakes again.

1.       When you make mistakes, OWN THEM.

This was a huge mistake on both our parts.  You can never recover from a lie / mistake / betrayal if you don’t completely own it.  If you aren’t honest with your partner about what happened, you can’t be truly sorry, and you cannot be truly forgiven.  I believe this is fear driven most of all.  When you have to admit to someone very close how badly you screwed up, you actually have to face it yourself.  Avoidance is easier, but in the long term, it’s poison and allows the act to fester and rot.

2.       Make your partner a priority.

Not an afterthought, not a problem, but someone important in your life.  Fall in love with someone you want to DO things with, someone you want to be physically close to as much as possible.  I’m not saying you have to be joined at the hip, and absolutely EVERY activity needs to be shared, but don’t forgo your partner at the expense of other interests.   Make sure you get some quality couple time.  It’s so easy to get lost in the business of everyday life.  With children, homes, jobs, friends, families, interest … so many things to do and organize, it’s critical that you carve out some time together to connect.  Maybe a coffee on a Sunday morning while the kids are playing or watching cartoons, a dinner out if you can swing it, or just sitting together talking while the kids play at the park.  So many opportunities to not only be together but to connect together that get lost in the shuffle, so instead of saying no, learn to say yes to these times.

3.       The small things count.

Yes, everyone loves big extravagant presents, grandiose gestures of love, and to be spoiled rotten, but often the small things, the simplest of gestures (while providing your mutual friends with great opportunity to post DI-A-BEE-TUS gifs on your facebook feed), go a LONG way in making your loved one feel as special as they deserve to be.  Buy a little gift or card, and put it somewhere they’ll see it if you can’t be there to welcome them home at the end of the day.  Do their laundry and put it away without expecting a HUGE thank you (or the proverbial parade).  Tell them that they make you happy, or just smile at them and tell them you love them out of the blue.  Yes, the big weddings and vacations and purchases are fun, but it’s the small things that bind you together.

4.       Don’t try to live to the standards of others.

I made this mistake for so long.  I did what I thought others expected me to do.  Hell, I didn’t even ask or get told what to do; I took guesses and just did that.  I shake my head now at the stupidity of it all.  I let go of the need to be judged and valued by others and learned what it took to make ME happy.  I don’t worry about “keeping up with the Jones’ “or anyone else.  I just do what makes me, my partner and my family happy. 

The bottom line is that happiness is truly a choice, granted, often not an easy one as you cannot please everyone else and yourself all the time.  When I did finally decided that my happiness was important, and recognized what it was going to take to get there I turned my life upside down.  It was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done.  I’m happier, my kids are happier, my partner is happy, my employer is happy that I’m happy, as are my family and friends.  I do not regret one day of my past, as it’s brought me to where I am now, and I’m truly happy.  It took a LOT for me to be able to say that, but I really am!

He asked me to write a blog about

I've used this phrase a number of times in the past couple of days.  It's a numeric sequence basically saying "all the time".  The basis of our conversation were about our happiness.  That I want him to be happy 24/7/365.  It's not that I'm altruistic, it's that I'm entirely selfish.  My happiness is tied to his, all of my emotions are tied to his.  When he's upset or anxious, I'm unnerved.  When he's bothered by something, I don't feel right.  When he's happy, I feel like I've got the world by the tail.  Perhaps it's because we're so in tune with one another, we're almost empathic.  

But I doubt that it's really that interesting.

Its a matter of I like to see him happy.  He's an amazing person and when he's happy he glows, and that light shines on me.  Yes, perhaps it's corny, perhaps it's simply how I choose to visualize my manifestation of happy, but it's really true, when he gets excited about something, be it GenCon or Beer, or whatever else has him wound up I get swept up in the excitement and thrill at discovering something new.  And it's WONDERFUL.

So, my goal in life, is to make sure he's happy 24/7/365 and I'll do that by loving him, working hard at us and at life, making sure he feels loved, cherished and trusted.  By making sure he trusts me with any thought, feeling or idea, that I'll never judge, but rather thrill in the adventure with him.  He's my best friend, he's the love of my life, and I want him to be as happy as I am.

Because HAPPY

Move over Letterman ... I can do a top ten list too!

Ok, so I’ve been feeling pretty down about myself lately.  Two years ago I was hitting the gym for 2-3 hours a day, EVERY DAY and I was in GREAT shape.  I wasn’t skinny, I wouldn’t even say lean, but I was really happy about how I looked.  Then, again, life got in the way.  Custody schedules, travel, work … a thousand excuses but I’m back to my original shape … round.  Realistically, what really bothers me is how out of shape I am.  I’d love to take a bike ride with the boys, or go play soccer at the park, but I’m afraid I’d need an Ambulance on standby for anything more than a flight of stairs.

So, LML tasked me to write a list of 10 things I like about myself.  This is much like the #100HappyDays it’s an exercise to focus on the positive … really, did I just say exercise?  Oy.  He’s also pointed out that it can’t be compliments to him or the boys aka “I love how happy you make me LML” or “I love how awesome the boys are” (although I made them so it’s kinda me ;-) but here goes.

1.    I love my hands.  I love how long and thin my fingers are.  I love the way I take care of them with manicures, colour, moisturizer, etc.  They’re very pretty and I love that I can wear HUGE funky rings and they look awesome on me.

2.     I love my not only willingness but excitement to wear an EXTREME variety of footwear.  Everything from flip flops and ballet flats to 7” spiked stilettos in bubble gum pink!  I am this generation’s Amelda!

3.      I like that I’m always jumping to Yes instead of No when I’m asked for something.  I really like helping friends out and doing things for them.

4.      I’ve got stupid sexy calves (even with the scar down one shin) that look AMAZING in those ridiculously high heels.

5.     I have a great smile and I use it liberally

6.     I’m reliable.  While that sounds kind of boring, it means people can count on me.  If I say I’m going to do something, I do it.  I can commit to events, tasks and being there for friends.

7.     I don’t sweat the small stuff and I don’t over think things.  I had an incident with the eldest gift this past weekend.  I stood my ground, and then compromised.  I wasn’t sure if I’d compromised or caved, but after telling LML what happen he agreed I’d done the right thing in that situation and I wasn’t just being a spineless marshmallow.

8.     I laugh, A LOT!  With enthusiasm and a joyous lust for life.

9.     I like to make people happy.  Whether it’s to compliment a coworker on a great outfit, or give someone a neat promo pen I have, I like to make people smile.

10.  I’m not only the friend that will help you move, I’ll help you move a body.  For my good friends I’ll do everything in my power to help them out.

Wow, that was a lot harder than it looked.    I’m having a bit of a Sally Fields moment … they like me, they really like me ... but more importantly I like me.    Best part is while I was writing this out, I realized most of my closest friends (Shawn, Michael, Michaela, the Working Moms) have many of these same traits too.  Apparently I do attract what I try to put out.

Let me count the ways

BBE isn’t one of those brash, shout it from the roof tops romantics (that’s more my style), but he does things that are so incredibly thoughtful and special that they actually move me to tears.  Case in point:

Yesterday, I had a TERRIBLE day at work.  This is rare, generally I love my job, I’m good at my job and I enjoy what I do.  I’m very lucky, but everyone is allowed to have a bad day, and apparently yesterday was mine.  I have been running like a mad woman lately trying to get everything done.  I like the pace, days fly by, tons of challenges, but every once in a while something slips.  My least favourite sales person had asked me in December to work on a project.  Sure thing, no problem, but in December I had different deadlines, and being told this project would be due “mid-january” I scheduled it accordingly.  I gave the vague detail that my coworker had provided to our Ad Agency and set them upon the task.  All of sudden, his customer moves up the deadline.  As a result, I get handed “final” product from the Agency that I knew was substandard.  I didn’t have a chance to proof it, but I figured we could “use it as a talking point” and I could follow up the next day with the corrected project.  Apparently sales guy would rather spend my valuable time standing in my office screaming at me.

I did rather well, I didn’t lose my cool, I defended myself, but fortunately my boss stepped into my office, diffused the situation and got us back on track.  I went back to the ad agency, correcting the mistakes sales guy had done, and provided new direction.  I went into my office, closed the door and lost it.  I don’t cry out of sadness, but out of anger and frustration.  This sales guy is famous for providing bad information then throwing marketing under the bus.  He’s done it to all of my coworkers and it’s rather a miracle this is only the first time it’s happened.  My boss hauled him into his office and tore him a new one, so then he comes to me (while I’m still rather upset) that we need to “talk this out”.  Sorry asshat, I’ve got stuff to do and making you feel better isn’t on the list.  I spoke to my boss later and he praised me for “taking the high road” and keeping my cool.  I knew I wasn’t in trouble, and I knew I could get stuff done to please the customer (always my end goal).

So, crying at my desk, not my favourite thing to do, I felt humiliated for the red eyes as I went into a LARGE corporate meeting after.  No one commented, a few asked if I was okay to which I replied “I’m fine”.  I wasn’t though.  I had a splitting headache and I was embarrassed, I just wanted to get the project done and go home.

When I got home it was quite.  The gifts were finishing their dinner and BBE had ours just about done.  He’s finding new recipes because I’m trying to eat healthier (including going gluten free).  So, not only is there a great meal, there are some beautiful tulips on the table.  Awwwww he got me flowers, because I had a bad day, but wait … there’s more!  He hands me a poem he’s written.  WHAT?  No one has EVER written a poem for me, EVER!  I’m reading it and I’m literally in tears again.  This time, tears of joy to be so lucky to have the most amazing man in the world love me.  The gifts joined in with lots of hugs and “I love you mommy” and I settled down to a wonderful dinner. 

I still can’t believe he wrote me a poem.  #HappiestGirlInTheWorld

Reason 4,248 why the mean girls hate me

I’ve worked here for just shy of 2 years.  The department was in chaos when I first started.  One person (who I replaced) retired with no notice a couple of months prior and another was off on “stress level”.  That left TCW (toxic coworker) trying to hold down the fort and during my interview, act as if nothing was wrong.  She actually did a good job and it earned her Senior to her title earlier this year.    Then FCW (flakey coworker) was promoted into the stress puppy’s job and everything seemed right with the world.  Three women, ready to take our industry by storm.  We had lunch together every day, chit chatted a lot, griped about husbands (A LOT) and basically were thick as thieves. 

After about 6 months things changed, and rather dramatically; I decided that I needed to stop bitching about my life (specifically my marriage) and CHOOSE to be happy.   No one was going to do it for me; I had to do it myself.  So, I separated from my then-husband, buckled down at work and did an awesome launch, focused on me, my health, my best friend, my kids and my job.  It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

Now life is very different, I’m SPOILED with love.  Those who truly love me and are my friends are thrilled to see me so happy.  I’m enjoying my job, I have a VERY busy schedule with my kids and the love of my life.  We do things together.  We go to Toronto to our favourite brew pubs and bistros.  We attend beer and / or wine tasting events.  We explore, we’re having fun, all of it together or together with the kids.  Today we had a babyshower lunch for and awesome coworkers.  This awesome coworker has met (and had lunch with) my boyfriend and since he was on nights, I invited him to the lunch as well, I knew ACW would like that.  Of course when TCW & FCW walked in they were surprised.  Even thought TCW’s husband had worked with our company for a year (recently) she NEVER would have invited him. 

The problem is, they’re women stuck in relationships that aren’t working for them.  TCW has made it clear (to me during the friendly times) that she’s just sticking it out for the kids.  When her youngest goes off to University (5 years from now) she plans on handing her husband walking papers.  WOW.  FCW cycles through liking her partner and hating him.  I think they’re poorly matched, but he’s cute and makes good money, so she’s putting up with it.  She really doesn’t think life could be better.  Now they’re watching me happy in love and spoiled rotten.  They will make snide remarks which I usually ignore, but their faces today, that I include my love in on this celebration was priceless.  Yep, bite me biotches!  I’ve chosen to be happy and go ahead and hate me for it.  Hate me because I’m beautiful too!

Where does the time go?

Seriously, where does the time go?  I don’t spend my weeks wishing for the weekends.  I don’t obsess on making work go by quickly to get to vacation time.  I don’t wish my life away, but it seems like the clock is spinning faster and faster these days.  Admittedly part of the reason I haven’t blogged lately was access issues (that’ll teach me to let the eldest gift have my google account on his tablet device), but I’ve got it back now and it’s time to blog.

I had a truly unique and wonderful experience today.  As a working mother, while I’m not racked with guilt, I do miss out on a lot of what goes on in the classroom with the gifts.  I help them with assignments and prepare for presentations but only hear how they go afterwards from the boys.  I get “it was okay” or “I don’t remember” … so it’s something I always miss out on.

Not today, and it was such a treat.  The eldest gift is in a very technology centric class (grade three and he’s required to have a tablet device with a camera).  I thought this was a bit excessive, but today I realized how great it is … FOR ME … that he has this.  The teacher videoed his “About Me” presentation, marked it and posted it to his google drive.  I logged on today from work and watched the presentation and saw the marks.  It was INCREDIBLE.  Instead of the not-focused, quiet spoken, goofy kid he was confident and articulate.  He put in some great detail into his presentation and spoke clearly.  He did well and the teachers’ comments and marks reflected that.  I was amazing to see how confident, well spoken and creative he is.  I was bursting with pride and joy.  What a gift to a working mother who misses her boys, but to have a video of a presentation he did for class! 

I’m one happy beanie spinning mom today!

bamboo and a four leaf clover

I learned by the end of yesterday is that all you need to turn your day around is some bamboo and a four leaf clover.  They're both symbols of good luck, and combine the two and you have a force that can skyrocket you into the stratosphere.

My latest addiction

I have a very addictive personality; this is no secret to those who know me. I’ve battled the coffin nails (cigarettes) for most of my life (I’m 3 months clean and going strong). I also addict to food; back when I was working as an Assistant Buyer for a classical music company, I ate a ham and cheese sub from the SAME sub shop every day for 1.5 YEARS. To this day, that’s still my favourite type of sub.




I also someone addict myself to people. If I find someone that I REALLY like, that I get along with REALLY well, then I want to be around them as much as possible. I smile every time I hear “This Afternoon” by Nickelback, because my favourite line is “from the moment I wake up, I just love being with my friends”. It rings so true, when I’m not working and not sleeping, all I want to do is hang out with my friends and family. My trainer (Shawn) has become a good friend and I love not only hanging out with him at the gym but just about anywhere else, he’s an awesome guy and a blast to hang out with.



But my latest addiction is working out. My facebook friends warned me it would become an addiction. I didn’t believe them, even knowing MY addictive personality. But it’s true. Here I am on day three of not working out and I cannot WAIT to get out of here tonight and get to the gym (shame Shawn’s on nights so I’m on my own). I went to an AMAZING concert on Tuesday and then out for a birthday dinner with an old friend (older now ;-) last night, so there hasn’t been time. I’m tired today, my throat’s sore, I should go home and sleep, but ALL I can think of is “I wonder if I can cut out a tad early and hit the gym for a bit longer”. Yep, I’m hooked.



That and my SACW (Super Awesome Co Worker) just had a 10 minute conversation on the best vibrators and lubes … ahhhhh I love my addictions!