Orange ya glad I finally blogged again?

This weekend LML (Love of My Life) and I went out to see a musical.  He’d never been to one before and I hadn’t been in ages, so we got tickets to a Toronto production of The Sound of Music.  I (as usual) found a deal on the seats, so we were second row near the center!  Yay!  I’ll admit, I was going to have a hard time liking the Maria character because I couldn’t imagine it as ANYONE but Julie Andrews, but the lead did a great job and by the end she had me convinced it was Maria.  Prior to us heading out, I walked by LML and said “ohhh you smell good”.  He’s not a fussy man, and while he’s always clean, he saves the cologne for special occasions, which I LOVE.  The power of scent, I’ve never smelled that Lacoste cologne on anyone else, so to me, it’s HIM!   

Today I was sitting at my desk eating lunch, and I pulled out a small Clementine orange.  I really like the taste of the little ones, and all of a sudden, I closed my eyes and flashed back to my days at Pilot (see “Rant from a Cube”) and I really had a strong feeling of Mama D.  I can’t for the life of me tell you what her name really was, all I ever knew her as was Mama D.  She was a kind, older lady who had a very strong sensitivity to citrus.  She’d actually have to leave the lunch room if someone was peeling an orange.  I actually stopped wearing one of my favourite Body Shop scents – Satsuma, for worry that it would bother Mama D.  I rarely think about Pilot, and haven’t thought about Mama D in 5 years, but enjoying this orange today brought it all back so clearly.  I miss Mama D, and I miss that scent.  I doubt I’ll ever see Mama D again, but I’ll put some shopping time on the schedule upcoming and hit Body Shop for Satsuma!

Depth and definition of friendship

We had an awesome weekend hanging out with some dear friends.  One of the girls from E-guys school has been friends with him since junior kindergarten.  It's a good friendship all around.  Both of the little gifts adore the girl and like playing with her.  She's an only child so it's good for her to have brothers.  The mother and I, while complete polar opposites get along really well.  She enjoys my energy, I enjoy her calmness.  The father is a bit of a nut, but gets along with BBE as they both have a passion for craft beer.  They live about a 10 minute walk from us, and our schedules seem to align nicely with theirs so we get together for dinner and drinks and the kids play and torment the cats.  It's almost Norman Rockwell in it's appearance ... seriously, I feel some times it's just this side of bridge club.

There's just this thing ... something core to my life, my life with BBE, that remains somewhat hidden.  I feel a bit like someone who is gay, and still in the closet.  I've never felt that someone needs to know ALL my details, come on, a bit of mystery is always best, but sometimes I feel like I can't be my authentic me around most people.  It's nothing I hide from BBE, but something we share.  Some of our friends are aware, but most are not.  It's nothing bad ... I'm not drowning kittens in the river, but still, it's something I'm very private about and wonder what this particular set of friends would think if they knew.  I really like this friend, and while I wish she wouldn't judge, but see me as the friend she's enjoyed over the past 4 years, I have a feeling if I revealed my true self, what I always refer to as my "authentic self", it would not go well.  

I'm sitting in the middle of the teeter totter wondering what is better, to hide away that little bit that may be judged, or simply live out loud and be damned the consequences!  Can she truly be my friend when I hold something that is key to who I am back?

From the other side of the train

Sometimes I take the commuter train into work. It's typically on a Friday and usually in the summer to avoid the cottager traffic on the ride home. It's the dead of the never ending winter and I'm taking the train because BBE is picking me up at work and we're going to Toronto for a beerventure. 

I typically sit on the right hand side of the train facing forward in the last car. I get on the train at its second stop so I always get my pick of seats. I can't handle sitting backwards the entire trip and I chose the last car as it's where I jump off to walk to work. But sitting on the right side really is just habit so today I sat on the left. 

Wow the difference is spectacular. Firstly it's the sunny side of the train so I'm sitting here with my sunglasses on. Secondly it seems to be more scenic. Maybe I'm just used to the cows, farms and fields from the other side but this one has lakes and ponds as well. 

Maybe it's the new view, perhaps the sunshine, more likely seeing BBE early today and for the evening but it's made me smile and made for a great start to the day. 

Frozen Canadian Mom Decision Making

I had a better morning today.  I got the munchkins off to daycare without hitting anyone with my car (not to worry, it was just a bumper tap yesterday, no damage), but I realized I was almost out of gas.   The light was on, so I knew I was going to be lucky enough to make it to a gas station, and no further.  Stopped at a light I pull out my phone and check my “Gas Buddy” app.  We have a Costco in town, and it makes our local gas stations a bit more competitive.  So, it looks like gas is $1.279/L ($4.36/G) versus my Ultramar at $1.311/L ($4.47/G).  Ok, so it’s four cents different. That’s typically enough to send me to Costco.  Costco is on the wrong side of the road and lights take forever and only accept cash (debit).  If the difference is less than $0.02 I’ll use Ultramar because I can collect “points” on my Walmart Mastercard that I believe makes it equitable. 

Then I checked the temperature.

It’s -30⁰C (-22⁰F) … so if I go to Costco I have to stand outside, swipe my Costco Card (likely twice to get it to read it), then wait.  Swipe my interact card, and then wait.  Select the amount I want to pre-approve for, confirm that, select which account, and wait.  Then punch in my PIN, and wait to be told to lift the nozzle and fill ‘er up!.  At Ultramar I hop out of the car, wave my Mastercard at the pump and lift the nozzle and fill ‘er up!. 

I went to Ultramar.  Cold trumps money savings!

FYI - average gas price locally is $1.361/L ($4.64/G)

You are my FOREVER

When I fell in love with you, I knew it was real, because all those corny love songs started to take on new meaning and made me think of you.  What amazes me is that I'll still be driving and a song, like this one will start and granted not all the words, but the below ones say it better than I ever could.

Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround, every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be
Turnaround, every now then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wondrous as you
Turnaround, every now and then I know there's nothing any better
And there's nothing that I just wouldn't do

Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever

And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

I know you don't have your dream job, and sometimes you're worried that you're not good enough, but you are PERFECTION for me.  You truly are magic and wondrous.  I can't believe someone as perfect as you not only exists in this world, but works so incredibly hard to make me happy.

You really have made me feel like the luckiest person in the world.  I love you and I'll never stop telling you how magical your are!

Thank you Shawn, for everything.  I mean it now, and forever!

Another fantastic olympics!

Total team ice domination, boys being told to play like girls, because the women lead the way to the top of the podium.  Yes, we're a pretty happy and proud country right now.

Honestly, it's not as sweet as 4 years ago.  This incredible achievement happened thousands of kms away, it wasn't on home soil like 2010, so we're not as close to it.  Four years ago Canadian Pride

The two highlights for me personally was enjoying the Women's gold medal win with my friend in Boston.  She was in a meeting, so I texted her updates.  I gave up when we were down 2-0 in the third, but her meeting was over so she'd watch it at her desk.  Then she texted me that we score ... it felt like a tease.  Then she texted me we were going to overtime!  OMG.  I'm superstitious when it comes to hockey, I let her watch and text me.  The captain had carried the flag for the opening ceremonies, so they were cursed to lose, but then I got the text from her.  Congrats my friend, good game, you won!  OMG Hayley broke the curse and our girls were golden again.  Talk about fighting back, talk about NEVER GIVING UP!  

The second was a bet made by a US Transportation Company for the semi-final game in Mens hockey, USA vs Canada.

EPIC ... this started so much trash talk, and was more important than the beer bets made by the PM and POTUS.   They lost!

Of course I've been hashtagging it #BestHockeyBetEVER!  

Inspired by an on line writing.

I belong to a few different on line groups.  Some even cross over to real life, so I tend to do a lot of reading of on line blogs, journals, etc.  Some are truly insightful, inspiring me to be a better parent, a better girlfriend, a better employee, all in all a better person.  Some … well … not so much.  I came across one journal post titled “Actually No, I don’t have to ‘Play Nice’”.  The author is a self described “bohemian”.  He doesn’t necessarily conform to our “rules of society”.  The journal proceeds to say I don’t have to be nice if I don’t want to.  If you’ve hurt me (on purpose or not) I can block you out with a big fat wall.  You won’t affect me that way.  Basically goes on to say that if they’ve screwed up in his eyes, he’s far too busy a person to hold their hand and teach them the better way.

Really at this point of the post I wanted to hurl.

What happened to common decency?  What happened to the base level of human kindness?  What REALLY annoys me about this person is that he spews “enlightenment”.  He’s approximately my age, with a young child, no job and at last count 3 girlfriends.  For some reason this creep has that evangelical cult leader persona and people do listen to him.  When I first met him, I thought he was farther along the evolutionary enlightenment path than most, now I just realize he’s a drug addicted loser who can’t hold down a job and be a truly contributing member of society.  He believes he’s better than that, and the truly annoying part is that MY tax dollars pay to have him sit on his ass and spout this garbage.

There are so many ways I’d like to rant not only about this jerk but too him.  But I am likely on the other size of that wall.  He’s NEVER extended a hand to me, or even looked twice in my direction.  I likely wronged him somehow and apparently the chance of me ever overcoming that big fat wall are slim.  GOOD.  I’d like him to be surrounded by that big fat wall, then I’d like to fill it with water. 

When other people like this annoy me, I remember … wait, I have friends, I have family, I have the love of my life and two of the greatest children ever.  I just received a spectacular review at work, we have a BEAUTIFUL house, and I’m blessed with people who make me laugh, smile and just generally feel awesome about life.  I bet he doesn’t have that, behind his wall.  Wow, I actually pity him … and if he ever knew I pitied him, I’m sure he’d RAGE.