Let me count the ways

BBE isn’t one of those brash, shout it from the roof tops romantics (that’s more my style), but he does things that are so incredibly thoughtful and special that they actually move me to tears.  Case in point:

Yesterday, I had a TERRIBLE day at work.  This is rare, generally I love my job, I’m good at my job and I enjoy what I do.  I’m very lucky, but everyone is allowed to have a bad day, and apparently yesterday was mine.  I have been running like a mad woman lately trying to get everything done.  I like the pace, days fly by, tons of challenges, but every once in a while something slips.  My least favourite sales person had asked me in December to work on a project.  Sure thing, no problem, but in December I had different deadlines, and being told this project would be due “mid-january” I scheduled it accordingly.  I gave the vague detail that my coworker had provided to our Ad Agency and set them upon the task.  All of sudden, his customer moves up the deadline.  As a result, I get handed “final” product from the Agency that I knew was substandard.  I didn’t have a chance to proof it, but I figured we could “use it as a talking point” and I could follow up the next day with the corrected project.  Apparently sales guy would rather spend my valuable time standing in my office screaming at me.

I did rather well, I didn’t lose my cool, I defended myself, but fortunately my boss stepped into my office, diffused the situation and got us back on track.  I went back to the ad agency, correcting the mistakes sales guy had done, and provided new direction.  I went into my office, closed the door and lost it.  I don’t cry out of sadness, but out of anger and frustration.  This sales guy is famous for providing bad information then throwing marketing under the bus.  He’s done it to all of my coworkers and it’s rather a miracle this is only the first time it’s happened.  My boss hauled him into his office and tore him a new one, so then he comes to me (while I’m still rather upset) that we need to “talk this out”.  Sorry asshat, I’ve got stuff to do and making you feel better isn’t on the list.  I spoke to my boss later and he praised me for “taking the high road” and keeping my cool.  I knew I wasn’t in trouble, and I knew I could get stuff done to please the customer (always my end goal).

So, crying at my desk, not my favourite thing to do, I felt humiliated for the red eyes as I went into a LARGE corporate meeting after.  No one commented, a few asked if I was okay to which I replied “I’m fine”.  I wasn’t though.  I had a splitting headache and I was embarrassed, I just wanted to get the project done and go home.

When I got home it was quite.  The gifts were finishing their dinner and BBE had ours just about done.  He’s finding new recipes because I’m trying to eat healthier (including going gluten free).  So, not only is there a great meal, there are some beautiful tulips on the table.  Awwwww he got me flowers, because I had a bad day, but wait … there’s more!  He hands me a poem he’s written.  WHAT?  No one has EVER written a poem for me, EVER!  I’m reading it and I’m literally in tears again.  This time, tears of joy to be so lucky to have the most amazing man in the world love me.  The gifts joined in with lots of hugs and “I love you mommy” and I settled down to a wonderful dinner. 

I still can’t believe he wrote me a poem.  #HappiestGirlInTheWorld

Third time the charm?

WTF have they done with my picture links?  I love finding the right picture to express a though or idea that compliments my blog post.  This post was originally intended to be about finding your passions.  One of my passions is wine, and one of BBE's passions is beer.  I think they work well together and truly make us an amazing hosting team for any party.  He's thinking about trying to "home brew" some beer.  Sure thing dude, I love my "make it yourself" wine.  I'll happily work with him to clear out the basement so he can make his own (ohhhh maybe we'll put a still down there and do some moonshine too ;).  I actually quite like the idea of him having a passion that will keep him home.  His second job (which I really like) just uses him a lot (he's awesome, who wouldn't) so for him to have a passion, like his peppers I'm thrilled.

So ... just imagine, at the beginning of this post, there's an awesome picture of "Stay Calm and Find Your Passions" ... man, the words just don't do it ... stupid google blog ... GET FIXED, so it's not just all black and white will ya?

A reason, but is it the right one?

I’ve been hearing on the news that the Salvation Army (Canada) is very short of their fund raising goals.  From the Toronto Sun today, the goal is $21 million and they’ve raised $11.4 million, leaving them $9.6 million dollars short.  From what they’ve been saying on the radio, SA state that it’s because we’ve become a cashless society.  Hmmmm, that may be part of it, but I don’t think that’s the whole story folks.    At the bottom of a recent article, there’s a poll, will you donate?  55% said they haven’t and don’t plan too.  I have a hard time walking by the kettles (I have ALWAYS given them my change over the holiday season) but this time, this year, and going forward I’ve chosen NOT to.   It’s not that I can’t afford it; I’m actually in a better place financially.  It’s not that I don’t believe in charity (they were doing a GREAT one at my local grocery store, buying toys for kids), but rather, I choose not to donate money to an organization that is unapologetically anti-human rights.

Wait … wut?  Hey Techy, are you a little too far into the nog?  It’s a CHARITY, should it be ALL ABOUT human rights?  Yep, that’s what I think, so that’s why I won’t support SallyAnn!  They are against GLBT Rights Globally.  When I walk by one of the kettles, or see the band playing, it brings me back to my childhood and my Grandfather who first explained who these people are, what they do and why it’s important.  My Grandfather was a very proper old Scottish Gentleman, but I think even he would be greatly disappointed at this wonderful organization discriminating against someone solely based on who you love.  He and my Grandmother married against both their parents’ wishes due to conflicting religions, so he understand being judged and discriminated based on something. 

So my dear SallyAnn, while I applaud your efforts to increase you technical savvy with a virtual kettle, perhaps you should come ALL the way into the 21^st Century and go for some human rights equality!

Salvation Army's History on Gay Rights

When a plan comes together.

Today, in my facebook feed, there was a huffington post article on how to help anxious kids with worry.  I decided to bookmark the article to read at lunch as the eldest gift can get anxious sometimes.  It’s nothing horrible, just sometimes he worries about stuff.  Then I thought back to when I was a kid, and what did I worry about.  The first thing that came to mind was the TV show “Buck Rogers in the 25^th Century” and that the world was going to “end” in 1984 due to nuclear war.   It ran from 1979 to 1981, so I was 7-9 while it was on, similar to the eldest gifts current age.  In the show, the main character Buck Rogers (played by Gil Gerard) was an astronaut that left earth before the destruction in 1984 and was frozen in space for 500 years.  I remember; very vividly worrying that somehow this was more of a documentary than a fictional TV show.  I remember worrying that the world would end in 1984.  Of course, by the time 1984 came and went, the show was off the air and sometime during 1985 I thought “hey, we made it, we’re okay” … and life didn’t end.

However, the difference is that my life; or more accurately the core of my life that makes me ridiculously happy began in 1984.  BBE was born that year, of course I didn’t know it then, only really making the connection now, but what caused me great anxiety in my youth, has resulted in my happiness as an adult. 

So here’s to you Buck Rogers (who is currently in cryostasus somewhere out there to wake up in about 480 years), for giving me food for thought, and yet again, a reason to smile.

I miss him

So much it hurts.

Yes, travelling sucks

A weekend of discovery

Well, this past weekend was supposed to be about BBE’s work Christmas Party.  While we were in the cozy Amsterdam Brewhouse enjoying our flight of Tempest Stouts and some delicious food, he asks me “How would you feel if we didn’t go to the Party tonight and just hung out”.  OH HELL YES PLEASE!  It’s not that I don’t want to know his coworkers, a few of them (just from the stories) I’m actually rather interested in meeting, but I don’t really like sharing my time with him, and given the opportunity, YES I’m going to jump at the chance to have him all to myself!  That’s when we also realized the tickets were still safely hanging from the fridge. 

Yay, I get a whole weekend and I don’t have to share him.  The gifts were with their father and we had NOTHING else planned until 6:00 pm Sunday evening.  It’s time to chat!  We have talks about how things are, how things are going.  If there’s anything bothering either of us, if anything is missing.  We haven’t had one of these talks in AGES so it felt awesome to be able to resume it.  One of the things we talked about is that BBE considers himself to be an Introvert.  That really surprised me because I find him incredibly outgoing and charismatic (traits not often associated with an introvert).  He sent me this image via facebook and I had a read over.

Many of the points I consider common courtesy and wouldn’t do to ANYONE, being introverted or extroverted!

1.    Respect their need for privacy

2.    Never embarrass them in public

3.    Let them observe first in new situations

4.    Give them time to think, don’t demand instant answers

5.    Don’t interrupt them

6.    Give them advance notice of expected changes in their lives

7.    Give them 15 minutes warning to finish whatever they’re doing

8.    Reprimand them privately

9.    Teach them new skills privately

10.  Enable them to find ONE best friend who has similar interests & abilities

11.  Don’t push them to make lots of friends

12.  Respect their Introversions and don’t try to remake them into an Extrovert.

Ok, so here’s what I think. 

#1 & #2 that should be everyone.  You should always respect people’s privacy and NEVER embarrass anyone in public.  However, I’m a loud extrovert, if I embarrass him, it will be unintentional, but I’ll try to watch it.

#3 Ok, this is food for thought.  I tend to jump into most situations (often without a clue) and will stumble around until I figure it out.  Perhaps I should try to observe first too, it sounds like a WAY smarter way of doing things.

#4 this one is hard for me.  When I want to know something I can be pretty darned impatient.  However, I have learned that when I ask something (regarding feelings or sensitive topic) I’m best served to give him time to think about his answer.  We have MUCH better communication that way and fewer misunderstandings.

#5 this one should go for anyone.  It’s a sign of respect to listen and NOT interrupt.  As well, when you interrupt you’re not ACTIVELY listening to what someone is saying, you’re just trying to be heard.

#6 yes, this one is hard.  With two full time employed people with commutes and two active boys, sometimes things have to be done on the fly.  We try to organize and anticipate as much as possible, but this one will likely be an ongoing challenge.

#7 he HATES it when I act like I expect him to drop what he’s doing when I say something.  Of course he does, that’s RUDE.  Wow, extroverts are a royal PITA huh?

#8 I would NEVER reprimand him, publically or privately, but I address anything private … PRIVATELY.

#9 hey, you don’t need to know what goes on behind closed doors!  :-P

#10 fortunately for this extrovert, that introvert is also my best friend <3 o:p="">

#11 I don’t push him to do anything. 

#12 we’ve already got 3 extroverts in the house, I’m so grateful we’ve got this amazing introvert to keep us all sane.

I have some on line friends that are Introverts, but I’ve usually been surrounded by other type A extroverts all my life, so I find these types of learning’s very valuable!  

Is it bad how cheap I am?

Did the pendulum swing too far the other way?  I went from being horrifically in debt, to being mostly debt free (with the exception of the house mortgage, and that’ll be done in ~ 10 years) and with a decent savings.  I’m also on a path of decent retirement savings.  When a startling $4K bill comes up (damned those taxes … free healthcare my aunt fanny) I can pay it without missing a beat.  It’s obviously VERY different from where I was.  That being said, have I gone too far?

I’m responsible for managing the household finances.  That lays solely on me.  I need to monitor what comes in and what goes out.  A lot of people take on this task, it’s an important job and one I actually enjoy doing.  However, I’ve come to a point that I feel like I’m becoming a cheapskate.  This past weekend, I spent $50 on tights / stockings.  I haven’t spent that much money on tights or stockings in over a decade.  I like them, they’ll keep me warm, BBE loves the look of them, there’s no draw back … but …

They weren’t on sale.  I frivolously spent $50 on something I should have waited until it went on sale.  I look at the bank statement and that number LEAPS off the page and SMACKS me in the face.  SELFISH, SELFISH, SELFISH.  I’m feeling guilty.  We need to save up for when stuff breaks, when the vehicles need service or repairs, when the boys want to take dance class.  We need to make sure we’re planning for everything.

Where’s the healthy balance?  Between being frivolous and being frugal?