I belong to an amazing group of women. We met on a site 8+ years ago, and when that
site did some upgrades, we migrated to a FB page. It’s very LOW drama, and generally the women
there get along and are helpful and supportive.
I’m not saying we all sign kumbai and cyber hold hands, but based on
some other “private” groups I’ve seen, we really do this well.
A few days ago I posted a WWYD (What Would You Do) regarding
custody, favours and history with an ex-spouse.
While I was expecting a bit of a kick in the pants (I love these women because
along with kind, they’re generally honest) but one of the moms (honestly the
one I expected it from the least) went off the deep end and cyber ”tore me a
new one”. Ok, she must have been having
a bad day. I responded to her post with
what I hoped was cool kindness, and the situation seemed relatively
diffused. Life goes on, no big deal.
Today one of the mom’s posted an interesting article from a
fitness mom (that’s her job, she’ works in a health club) with a muscle toned
body and her three young boys with the title “What’s your excuse?” She wanted to know how we all felt about
it. It was pretty common that “what’s
your excuse” as a motivator is negative, but things that motivate people to get
into shape are generally good. So … “good
for her, but I’m never going to look like that” was the most common consensus. Ok, if I worked 8 hours a day in a gym, I
would EXPECT to be in great shape. But I
don’t. I work 9.5 hours a day at a
computer, drive 2.5 hours a day (with no traffic, weather or accidents) for
work. I need to sleep at least 9 hours a
night, that leaves me 3 hours. Oh yes, I
like to spend time with my boys, pack their lunches, organize their clothes, do
laundry, eat, clean the house …. Ok, I have exactly 1.5 minutes per day to work
out. Is that an excuse? Well, I could work out on weekends, or on
weeks the boys are at their fathers, but sometimes I just need to chill! It’s not an excuse, it’s a matter of
priorities, and apparently, at the moment, my priority isn’t to enter the Ms
World contest.
I wonder if the woman in the picture goes home and works out
more? When she’s done working for the
day is she developing exceptional brand presentations to further the company’s
corporate goals? No … really then, what
is her excuse?
Ok, my rant about that done, but back to my women’s
group. I was good when it was all “good
for her, but I don’t have time”. Then
some of the mom’s are like “oh I hate it when people say they don’t have time,
they’re just not making it a priority.
GEEEEZZZZ. Ok, I made time for it
last year, worked out 3 hours a day 6 days a week because I had the buffer to
do it (was still living with exh and he would be home with the kids). I don’t have time, could I do more? Sure, will I look that that woman, or any
person whose JOB it is to work on their body?
Nope, so lay off the “you have the time, you choose not to make it a
priority” lines, that’s obnoxious.
I COMPLETELY agree with your assessment! I think I shared this but I am in another group whose reaction on this was very judgmental. Like you said, it seems like rather than sahm vs. wahm, the "new" mommy wars seem to be divided along the lines of healthy/fit but with an even more judgmental air. :(
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