Love songs on the radio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yW7w8F2TVA

This song, every time I hear it, I think of LML.  Like, makes me melty, swoony and almost a little teary.  I’m still amazed by how much I love this man, I still get hung up on love songs on the radio.  I still get butterflies when I see him.  So this is what it’s like to be in love with your best friend!  Cool!

Why is saying “I’m sorry” so difficult for some people?

I’m Canadian; the jokes about how we are always so quick to apologise are prevalent.   When you bump into a Canadian, they apologise to you … that’s how we roll.    However, I know from past experience this isn’t always true.  Manners are a big thing for me.  I say please and thank you if I think I’ve offended or hurt someone I’m the first to apologise.  I’ve taught the boys that it’s okay to make mistakes, be wrong, but make sure you’re sorry for it and express it.  My ex-husband is TERRIBLE for this.  He’d NEVER apologise and it made me feel like crap.  I once called him out on it and he actually said: “really, we’ve been together long enough we don’t have to do that” … what … be kind … respectful?  Ergo one of the many reasons he’s the ex-husband.  BestHusbandEver always apologises; if we’re arguing (which is rare), he’ll stop, think about things and apologise if appropriate.  To this day it still catches me off guard, and I love it.

I had a situation this week where an apology would have gone a LONG way, but it didn’t happen.  I was hosting Girls Night In for 3 friends.  We try to get together once every couple of months.  Last month it was an impromptu night with one of the girls, so I hosted.  We had a great time, so we decided to repeat it for this month.  Schedules are tricky, I try to make it when BHE is on nights and the gifts are at their dads' so we can enjoy ourselves uninterrupted.  We set everything up via email and Facebook messenger.  It was all a go.  It’s a lot of work, I work 8.5 hours a day, have 2 hours of commuting, on the way home I stopped at the store and picked up $60 worth of meats, cheese, dips, fruit, veg, etc to nibble on.  I get home, empty the dishwasher, tidy the front room, look after the pets in need, tidy the living room, set up the food plates and am ready for the girls to show up at 6:30. 

*cue ticking clock*

I get a text message from M.  She’s a part-time WFH mother.  She loved this date because her husband was off for the week (March Break) so she could be on time.  She kindly kept me up to date on her progress “just leaving in 15” … “be there soon” … “just picking up wine” … and she arrived at 7:30. 

About 8:00 we get a FB message from C “OMG I totally gapped, I’m stuck at work, we’re really busy”.  That was all.  No apology, just that.  C and her husband own a pub and act like they have children as they have two dogs.  She BARELY works, and we picked this night specifically because it was good for her.  I was annoyed.

I’d texted K at 7:30 asking if she was still coming … and didn’t hear back until 8:30.  “I’m just leaving work from a meeting that went way overdue L” K works part time for a brewery, no kids … seriously?  BHE even made her a fresh loaf of Rye Bread because she loves it.

How hard is it to put a reminder in your calendar?  How hard is it to say “I’m sorry, I’m late or I can’t make it” … or just “I’m sorry”.   I wonder if it’s because the plans were made in cyber-space so people think they don’t matter.  When did common courtesy become so uncommon?  What their actions told me was “you don’t matter, your feelings don’t matter” and that hurts. 

Needless to say, I’m going to take a bit of a break from K & C.  I’m not going to be mean or rude; I’m just going to take my foot off the gas in an effort to reach out.   I love organising big or small social events … I just hate it when your guests suck. 

A love for the ages

If you’re not a fan of my “OMG I love my husband so much” posts … you may want to skip this one. 

This past weekend LML and I went to his work Christmas party.  I’ve never experienced something on this scale.  There were about 3,000 people at the convention center.  We booked a wonderful hotel room at a spectacular rate.  It was a king suite on a corner so there were windows everywhere.  We did what we always do when we first check into a hotel …. Turn on HGTV and have a drink.  Cable is fun when someone else is paying for it.  Then we got all gussied up and headed out to catch the shuttle.  The party was really well done.  No need to drink and drive or pay for cabs, the company looked after everything. 

We walked into the main hall after checking our coats and it was beautiful; lighted seats and tall lit tables to enjoy cocktails and chat.  We got some drink tickets, grabbed a beverage and started to mingle.  We first met LML’s new sub-leader, a lovely man and his lovely wife.  I waited for LML to introduce me (which is weird for me because I usually introduce myself), but I know LML likes introducing me as “his wife” (and that makes me a bit melty!).  I went on to tell his sub-leader that he speaks rather highly of him and that made him smile.  We chatted a bit about the gifts and moved on.  Nice people, and I like to make people smile.

Later on, while at dinner two of LML’s coworkers found us and wanted to say hi.  I’d heard lots of stories on these two characters so I was rather intrigued to meet them as well.  I smiled, made small chit chat as one had been out east around the same time we were and the other has a second job installing floors and I’d love for him to do ours.  Just a few brief words and they were off.  LML and I had a lovely meal, a lot of beverages and enjoyed the entertainment.  Instead of staying late to dance the night away, we caught a shuttle back to our love hotel and enjoyed ourselves.  It was a really good night and I liked putting faces to the names from the stories I heard.

Well, yesterday was the first day back to work and you know there was going to be talk of the party.  I asked LML if there were any stories (3,000+ people and holiday party, there’s bound to be something), but LML didn’t hear any of it.  Just talk of people who enjoyed themselves and thought the company had done an excellent job this year.  One of his coworkers that I met told LML he was really impressed by me and asked him “how did you manage to get her?”  LML, in his overly modest way says “just lucky I guess”.

Let me clarify exactly how he got me:

• He treats me like the center of the Universe.
• He spoils me with incredibly thoughtful gifts constantly.
• He puts secret love letters in my luggage to delight me when I travel.
• He loves me and my boys as if we’ve all been together forever.
• He’s my best friend with the same weird sense of humour I have.
• He’s hot … seriously smoking HOT.
• He takes care of us, cooks for us, and helps out as a full partner and parent.
• He kisses me with a passion and fullness that makes me weak in the knees.
• He is a kind soul and generous with his time and attention to people who matter.
• He’s loyal, trustworthy, loving, generous, strong, affectionate and smart.

Honestly, I’m the lucky one and I thank those lucky stars every day that I found him and he loves me like no one else ever could.  Thank you LML, you are my Sun and my Stars, you are my forever!

The Trump Effect

Today has been exhausting.  I purposely stayed off the internet last night during the US 2016 Federal election because I didn’t think I could handle seeing how close the race was.  You know, because they were saying Hillary had a 90% chance of winning.  Nobody was going to elect this misogynist, homophobic, sexist, racist hate and fear monger right?  Right?  I’ll just wake up in the morning to hear that the USA has elected its first woman President.

And then it’s the end of the world as we know it.  WTeverlovingF ‘Merica?  Please tell me I’m still dreaming, that I’m now ridiculously late for work because I’m having this horrible nightmare where the Tangerine Terror, the Orange Tyrant just became president of the world’s last super power.  But, he wants to move ‘Merica back to the 50’s, when the African Americans dealt with segregation (and didn’t take the white males jobs) and women were kept in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant (and didn’t take the white males jobs) and the Mexicans were still in Mexico (and didn’t take white males jobs).  He’s going to stop Muslims from entering America, and even deport some (so they can’t have the white male jobs) … well shit, guess who voted for him.  The white vote brought Trump in.  Looking at the exit polls, white men (and women) under 40 and lower educated voted in this monster.  It’s so clear now.  Hillary is the epitome of the political establishment.  She’s wealthy, white, and powerful and likely corrupt.  That’s what you kind of expect of politicians and a whole bunch of Americans said ENOUGH!

I get that you want change, you want big sweeping impactful change … but you just brought in this centuries evil war monger to make change.  You put a big spike down the middle of your country of hate and fear and terror … and somehow you’re supposed to just pick yourself up and carry on like nothing is wrong.

I’m sorry United States of America, I’m sorry it had to get this bad, that you truly had to hit rock bottom.  I hope you can heal, I hope you don’t end up destroying yourselves and I’ll just be here with a cold beer, warm poutine and a refugee center for my newly persecuted American friends.

Counting your blessings

This past weekend, LML and I celebrated “Geek Thanksgiving”.  This tradition started a couple of years ago with LML and his friends.  Sometimes, some of the people in their circle of friends wouldn’t get to celebrate Thanksgiving with their family, so the amazing friends stepped up.  I get it; it’s why the Geek will inherit the earth!  Typically our friends host the event and we show up with pies and buns and booze.  This year, LML and I offered to host in our home.  Our place is pretty big and built for entertaining.  LML has been doing some amazing things in the kitchen, so we knew he could pull off this meal.  Logistically, if people either drop off, or join in at last minute we can handle it, so it just made sense.

The gifts were at home for part of Saturday, so I put them to work helping clean, then the eldest went to a friends for a sleepover, so it was just the lil’est gift and the geeks.  He was awesome, hung out for dinner, ate without complaining, helped clean up, then took off upstairs to bed early as he was tired, allowing the adults to chat and watch wildly child inappropriate movies … like Deadpool!

The reason I bring this up is it reminds me to count my blessings and remember what I’m grateful for.

1.       LML, he’s truly my soul mate and perfect match.  I always knew love could be like this, and I’m so grateful I found him.

2.       The gifts, they’re amazing.  Sweet kids, who are kind and helpful, funny and slightly crazy, I couldn’t be more proud of these guys

3.       My friends!  Even though my family no longer does Thanksgiving (or isn’t inviting us) and LML’s mother usually travels south for Canadian Thanksgiving, it’s nice to still be able to have the big turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

4.       As much as I complain about the gender discrimination at work, I really do have a good job, they pay me well and recognize my contributions.

5.       I have my health.  I say this as one of my closest friends is under palliative care for terminal breast cancer.  I’m not the picture of health, but my issues are managed and I’ve managed to lose some weight.

6.       I am not American facing a horrific election next week … dude, this one is pretty HUGE!

7.       We’re comfortable, not rich, but not struggling.

8.       We have Honda’s!  Yay Honda!

9.       I really have some of the best friends anyone could have.  From my original band mates from my tween to teen years that are still there, to the GWM’s who are my rock, sanity and often saving grace, to Michael and Michaela, both coming into my life in the strangest ways, and staying because they’re amazing. 

I could do this all day, but I’d like to keep #4 and not lose it for blogging all day.  Our theme this year at work is an attitude of gratitude and I’m very lucky to be grateful for so many blessings.  I hope this helps me continue forward with a continued attitude of gratitude and kindness.

Gratitude.

Ok, enough complaining for one day, time to change focus!  At our sales conference this year, our President focused his speech on the importance of Gratitude.  Wow, that was like a lightning bolt to me.  I’d written a very short speech (as I’d received the leadership award for the second year in a row) and my theme, as well, was gratitude.  I was grateful to my leadership team for allowing me the opportunities to grow, discover, fail and succeed.  I was grateful for all the team members that I had the opportunity to work with through company integrations, product launches, product discover and design and all the little details that make a company run.

Hmmmm

That sounds much more like where I’d like to focus.  Today a friend called me her hero.  I was gobsmacked.  Another friend is having issues in her marriage and we’re on a private board to talk her through it.  It’s a group of on-line friends (some of us have met in person) and we’ve been “together” for about 10 years.  Some married, some divorced, all moms who love their kids and are trying to do their best.  As this one friend is having issues, the other divorced mom and I jump sharing our experiences, in an effort to help and support.  I told the other divorced mom I was so proud of everything she’d accomplished on her own and raising an epic young man.  She turned around and told me I was her hero, younger, hot husband, two great kids, kicking ass at work … wow.  Sometimes you’re so mired in the muck of the forest, you forget about the beauty and wonder around you and it takes a friend to point it out.

So ya, I am grateful for having this job that pays me well and does recognize my efforts (9 awards in less than 5 years).  I am grateful for having a husband who loves me for me, makes me feel like the center of the universe, spoils me with his love, time and attention, and often the most thoughtful gifts in the world.  I’m really grateful to have two awesome sons who are kind, respectful, loving, strong and all around good people.  I’m grateful to have the most amazing group of women who live inside my iPhone and laptop, who I can reach out to that will lift me up, make me laugh, or offer to help hide the bodies when I need them. 

I’m really very lucky, and I’m so very grateful for it.

The monkeys and clowns.

Work is getting to me again.  It’s strange; this is usually a pretty chill time of the year.  Deadlines are 5-6 months away, it’s not the “height of launch season” which is our stressful time of year (spring) but work is STRESSING ME OUT.

I need to keep repeating to myself, that while this is my circus, these clowns are not my responsibility and while this is my zoo, I’m not responsible for or to most of these monkeys.  My department has a terrible reputation for a poor work ethic.  One coworker (TCW) is currently bringing her suspended 17 y/o daughter to work here this week.  Wait .. WAT?  She’s suspended from school, so she’s going to bring her here so she can “work” for our company.  She’s literally getting paid to sit around and draw.  She’s not contributing anything to our company, and she’s getting PAID for it.  Sweet deal.  I bet $10 she’s suspended again a couple of times.

Another one of my coworkers (chatterbox) cannot come into work on time.  The big boss has sent out multiple emails stating the start of work is 8 (you can leave at 4:30) or 8:30 (you can leave at 5:00.  Those are the company hours.  However, every day chatterbox shows up between 9:10 – 9:20 … literally EVERY DAY.  I have one of the longer commutes out of my coworkers and I can manage to get in on time, even with dropping kids off at daycare.  This monkey lives with her mother, and STILL can’t get to work on time.  Worst of all, there seems to be no repercussions. 

People do shit, stupid shit here and never own up to it.  Idiot Field Sales manager decided to send two display kits to each of our reps (instead of the one I authorized) just in case they needed a backup.  Dafuq?  Those are VERY expensive kits, the reps have a ridiculously high turnover rate, and the backups are to be kept HERE.  Dumbass, please never procreate.

 This is a highly successful, billion dollar company.  I would expect highly professional Mensa type people to work here.  Instead we have an R&D Manager that isn’t interested in making technical discoveries … even when they’re handed to him on a silver platter; he’s too busy being LAZY.  Where people’s first reaction is “no” … before you even finish the question is “no, we can’t do that”.  SERIOUSLY?  Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to nail water to a superhydrophobic surface!

*sigh* I do love what I do.  I get to be creative and work on really cool products.  I get paid decently, and I’ve been recognized for my hard work and contributions.  I have multiple awards and a recent promotion to show for it.  I have reasonable working conditions and for the most part get along with everyone, that’s why I stay.  I like my job, I just can’t suffer the fools who get paid far too well for what little they contribute.